Transcript [00:00] At the hospital, I kind of decided that [00:02] I was never going to leave my house [00:03] again. I felt like a big part of me was [00:04] dead. I loved them so much, but it [00:06] wasn't just that we had spent [00:08] thousands and thousands of of hours [00:09] together because my son [00:11] obviously presented with challenges and [00:13] Hannah Malkah, she loved being with us. [00:15] We had kind of our own little nuclear [00:17] family within our whole family and my [00:19] sons were in Yeshiva. So, we had a [00:22] another residence just for him because [00:24] it was hard for him to be together with [00:26] everyone. And the three of us would [00:27] spend so many hours together. So, I felt [00:30] like I was losing my best friends. [00:32] In a lot of ways, I told my daughter [00:34] stuff I never told anybody else. And my [00:35] son knew me better than anyone. And I [00:38] spent [00:39] many hours uh [00:41] holding him and [00:43] understanding him and relating to him. [00:46] And the three of us kind of had that [00:47] dynamic where we could always understand [00:49] each other [00:51] even without words. [00:52] >> This summer, Rabbi Yeshua and Hadassah's [00:55] wife faced an unmatchable tragedy. After [00:57] a terrible accident on Lake Michigan, [00:59] their daughter and son both fought for [01:01] their lives, but tragically, neither [01:03] survived. This conversation is about [01:05] grief, heartbreak, faith, and somehow [01:07] finding the strength to keep loving and [01:09] moving forward. This episode is in [01:10] memory of Shimon Dovid ben Yaakov [01:12] Miriam Sara bas Yaakov Moshe, [01:14] and of course, Chana Malkah bas Yeshua [01:16] Leib and Yosef Yehuda ben Yeshua Leib. [01:18] You'll hear from our sponsors at [01:20] Feltime, Primal Crisp, Colel Chabad, [01:22] Nach Yomi Bippin and Will to Live. Here [01:24] we go. Rabbi Zweig, thank you so much [01:26] for taking the time to do this. Uh could [01:29] you start off with telling us a little [01:30] about where you're from and, you know, [01:33] the starting of the building of your [01:34] family? [01:36] >> So, I was born and raised in Miami [01:38] Beach, Florida. My father was a Yeshiva [01:40] there. [01:41] He moved there in 1974. [01:44] I was born in '79. [01:46] And I learned there and then after I got [01:50] married, my wife, she's from Chicago. We [01:52] lived there for a couple years, then in [01:54] Lakewood, [01:55] then back to Florida, [01:57] And then South Bend. [01:59] He got around a little bit. [02:01] >> Could you tell me about why you settled [02:05] in Indiana? [02:07] >> So, my son [clears throat] has [02:10] had uh autism and we found a specialized [02:14] school for him that wasn't so far away [02:16] from South Bend. And we wanted a smaller [02:18] community and people were friendly and [02:20] warm. [02:21] So, we we saw the school here and we [02:24] picked South Bend because it just was a [02:25] better fit for the type of [02:28] approach to life and [02:30] >> [snorts] [02:30] >> the kind of people we wanted and then we [02:31] just commuted back and forth to my son's [02:33] specialized school in Illinois and then [02:37] my other children being in the day [02:38] school here. [02:39] >> We're going to talk about Yosef's impact [02:41] and how he influenced your family and [02:44] how he affected Hannah. [02:46] Um but before we get to that, can you [02:48] tell us about that day? [02:51] >> So, it was a great day. [02:54] Uh [02:55] my daughter Yocheved Mock and Yosef were [02:58] roommates [03:00] and in the hotel and they just had a [03:03] wonderful rapport [03:04] and they had a great relationship. [03:07] And that day he woke up late, she made [03:09] him breakfast and bread. He brought some [03:11] equipment from the house to cook. He [03:13] liked waffles and pancakes so she cooked [03:15] for him. [03:16] She used to do stuff called a spa day [03:19] where she would cut his nails and clean [03:21] his skin and all this other stuff and [03:24] pampered him I guess a little bit. And [03:25] they just they had a wonderful morning [03:27] together and then she went out and I was [03:29] with him. [03:30] And we do music and he loved everything [03:32] in the Brio. He loved the wind, he loved [03:35] the ocean, the lake. And [03:38] he was just very, very happy. It was a [03:41] very peaceful, calm and we had gone [03:43] through a little bit of a rough patch [03:44] this summer so it was a nice contrast to [03:46] not having school and being together the [03:48] whole family that really kind of found [03:51] us and especially him a certain inner [03:53] peace and serenity. [03:55] And that was [03:57] it was just beautiful cuz he was the [03:59] happiest he had been in some time. So, [04:02] it was a great day and then [04:04] uh Chanamuka went out. [04:06] Uh sorry, let me back up a sec. She [04:08] didn't want to go out, but because of [04:10] Yosef she would go out to the water. She [04:11] didn't like swimming in lakes or oceans, [04:13] even though she was an excellent [04:14] swimmer. [04:16] So, she didn't have bathing suit, [04:18] neither of them had sunscreen. And they [04:20] were just supposed to splash and play in [04:22] the water and she wasn't going to go in [04:23] at all. [04:25] And if we're talking about practically [04:27] speaking, I don't really know what [04:28] happened. Obviously, I understand from [04:30] the big picture and the hashgacha that [04:32] everything was meant to be, but [04:35] I don't really know cuz they were only [04:36] going to go out for 10 minutes because [04:38] neither of them had sunscreen and it was [04:40] it was sunny. So, at some point she [04:42] decided to go in the water with him. So, [04:44] she was sitting on the shore and he was [04:45] in the water and they're just splashing [04:48] and I have pictures of it and it's just [04:49] beautiful, just pure joy and happiness [04:51] radiating from both of them. [04:53] And then at some point she decided to [04:55] sit in and it was very, very shallow. We [04:57] had life vests. We knew she was very, [04:59] very conscious about safety and all that [05:01] and we knew that she was very [05:03] trustworthy and she wouldn't do anything [05:05] to put herself at risk or him especially [05:06] at risk. She was very principled like [05:08] that. She wouldn't get into cars with [05:10] people she didn't think were qualified [05:12] drivers by her standard. So, I don't [05:15] know exactly what happened and I can't [05:17] ask her unfortunately, but I understand [05:19] from everything that played out and how [05:20] the two of them were nifter on the same [05:22] day. [05:24] And she did everything she could to save [05:26] him, which we found out after, that uh [05:29] obviously was all meant to be and if it [05:31] wasn't there it would have been [05:31] somewhere else. [05:33] But aside from that, it was it was kind [05:35] of very surreal. I was there and I had [05:37] no idea what happened. I just they had [05:40] drifted to the side not really deeper [05:42] and but just farther off a little bit [05:45] out of my view and the only thing that I [05:49] even realized that something was wrong [05:50] when I saw a boat headed towards them. I [05:52] could still see them, or I thought I saw [05:54] them, but I could see the craft. [05:56] And that boat was actually the EMS boat. [05:59] So, I had missed the whole thing. I [06:01] don't know exactly how long they were [06:02] under, but it was a [06:04] was a nice amount of time, and [06:07] they were resuscitated. They both went [06:09] without a lot of a lot of They both I'm [06:11] sorry. They both went a lot of time [06:13] without a pulse. Uh my son didn't He [06:17] kind of knew how to swim, but he didn't [06:18] really know how to swim, and he drank a [06:19] lot of water, so he was dealing with [06:21] those issues, but he was revived faster. [06:24] I guess she was trying to save herself, [06:26] she was out longer. [06:27] And we didn't find out any of this until [06:30] the police came. [06:31] And I was the only one there. My wife [06:33] and [06:34] my other two sons had gone to the island [06:36] there. [06:37] And [06:38] the police were looking up and down the [06:40] beach if anybody knew what was happening [06:42] or [06:43] seen anything in the water, and they [06:44] were trying to get witnesses. And then [06:47] I had heard sirens, but it was [06:49] you know, maybe half a mile away, and [06:51] that was the [06:53] boat had taken them to have an EMS [06:54] station on the [06:56] Excuse [clears throat] me, on the pier. [06:58] And they were reviving them that whole [07:00] time. So, by the time I saw the police, [07:02] they had already gotten back the pulse [07:05] of my son, and I believe also my [07:07] daughter, and then they took him to two [07:08] different hospitals. [07:10] And then eventually, so we I drove to [07:12] one hospital, my wife drove to the [07:13] other. She had come She had arrived by [07:15] that time. And then eventually, we went [07:17] to the trauma center. They moved them [07:19] there. And yeah, it was a whole [07:23] production. He was in the emergency [07:25] room, she was in ICU. And eventually, [07:27] once he was somewhat stable enough, they [07:29] were able to move him up to the ICU, and [07:30] then we spent the whole night [07:33] well, until my son was airlifted at [07:34] about 2:55 a.m., we spent going back and [07:37] forth between the two of them. And then [07:40] uh one of my sons had to be a shomer for [07:43] Yosaif who had passed away and then I [07:44] went to Chana Malkah and [07:47] she was left her [07:50] about 4:00 p.m. And it was a little [07:52] complicated medically and all that, but [07:54] she actually got a little bit stronger. [07:55] Her heart had stopped, but then [07:57] they were able to hear it not just [07:59] because of the ventilator, they were [08:00] able to hear it in a heartbeat and [08:04] I just I guess I kind of always knew [08:06] that that she wouldn't want to be going [08:08] on with I mean she had told me that she [08:09] wouldn't want to live without him and I [08:12] told her that she was waiting for her [08:14] even though he couldn't speak. Now in [08:16] shamayim they have the ability to you [08:18] know from chazal they have the ability [08:19] to [08:21] have the complete lives that maybe in [08:23] this world they weren't [08:25] able to do themselves but were able to [08:27] teach us. So [08:29] I feel like after she had heard about [08:30] that and all the michilos we did we did [08:33] a bunch of times and even though she had [08:34] gotten stronger eventually her all of a [08:36] sudden her breathing just changed and [08:39] then that was it. [08:41] So she had lived longer than the they [08:44] had ever seen [08:45] someone who had been in such a situation [08:47] without a pulse for so long. [08:50] And I actually thought in the beginning [08:52] of the night that she was going to make [08:54] it. They were just talking at originally [08:56] just about being brain dead but because [08:58] she hadn't swallowed any water or very [09:00] little [09:01] that it was much more hopeful for her [09:04] >> [clears throat] [09:04] >> and then as everything unfolded it just [09:07] became evident that [09:09] that she had just gone too long. But she [09:13] was a real fighter and she was [09:16] she was very strong and out of everybody [09:19] I know especially in my family she was [09:21] the only one who could have saved him. [09:22] He was 185 pounds and she had done a lot [09:26] of weight training and all these other [09:28] aerobics and exercises so I know she [09:31] thought that she could save him and I [09:32] know she wouldn't leave him. [09:35] But you know she wasn't even dressed. [09:38] She was wearing clothes, you know, so it [09:39] was a real battle just for herself. [09:42] And And then I guess it was it was just [09:44] too much. And [09:46] yeah, so that was pretty much it. [09:51] >> I'm so sorry for your losses and, you [09:55] know, I [09:56] people can't even fathom losing one [09:58] child, but [10:00] what goes through what went through your [10:02] head when you realize that you lost both [10:05] your son and your daughter? [10:11] >> At [10:13] at the hospital I kind of um [10:15] the sir decided that I was never going [10:17] to leave my house again. I felt like a [10:18] big part of me was dead. I loved them so [10:20] much, but it wasn't just that we had [10:21] spent [10:22] thousands and thousands of of hours [10:24] together because my son [10:26] obviously presented with challenges and [10:28] Hannah Montana she loved being with us. [10:30] We had kind of our own little nuclear [10:32] family within our whole family. And my [10:34] sons were in Shiva. So, we had a another [10:37] uh residence just for him because it was [10:39] hard for him to be together with [10:40] everyone. And the three of us would [10:42] spend so many hours together. So, I felt [10:44] like I was losing my best friends. [10:47] In a lot of ways I told my daughter [10:48] stuff I never told anybody else. And my [10:50] son knew me better than anyone. And I [10:53] spent [10:54] many hours uh [10:56] holding him and [10:58] understanding him and relating to him. [11:00] And the three of us kind of had that [11:02] dynamic where we could always understand [11:04] each other [11:05] even without words. So, when I was still [11:08] in the hospital just felt very dark and [11:10] very much [11:12] in some ways end of my life. I knew I [11:14] had two other sons, but [11:17] um I didn't I didn't really see a [11:20] future, but I understood intellectually [11:21] I wanted to go on for them and I wanted [11:23] to be there as much as I could for them. [11:25] And I would, but once they were married [11:27] and they were out of the house, I had [11:28] sort of resolved in my own head that [11:30] that was it. I'm done. I'm married and [11:32] then I'm never leaving the house again. [11:33] And then after a few days of Shiva, [11:35] because I'll talk about it, the three [11:36] days being the hardest, and there's a [11:37] lot of crying, and [11:39] not much sleeping, I was able to feel [11:42] better physically, but emotionally as [11:44] well. I got some sort of nachama. [11:46] Shabbos came in the middle. [11:48] And at that point in time, I felt like I [11:49] wanted to go on and move forward with [11:51] what we had always done, and the two of [11:53] them really exemplified better than [11:56] everyone I knew that just a life of [11:58] meaning and purpose and connecting to [11:59] others, and not looking at the surface [12:01] of people who can't talk or whatever [12:03] other challenges they face, [12:05] and to really develop and grow as [12:07] people. So, there was a big change in me [12:10] where I understood intellectually that I [12:12] always wanted to move forward, and I [12:13] always wanted to be continuing this, but [12:16] I kind of felt like my life was over, [12:17] and major parts of me were no longer. [12:22] But, I don't feel that way anymore, and [12:24] I'm very [12:25] much looking forward. That's kind of why [12:26] I was interested in doing this, cuz I'm [12:28] very much interested in moving forward [12:30] and kind of sharing them and their life [12:33] story, [12:34] and what we've been doing for 17 years [12:36] now, [12:37] with other people. And if other people [12:39] are interested and they take something [12:41] from it, [12:42] I heard from some people who heard the [12:44] Levaya that they had grown and they had [12:46] taken certain kabbalahs and different [12:48] things that had impacted their lives. [12:49] They told their children, [12:51] and I think that [12:53] is a very worthwhile endeavor, and I'm [12:55] very motivated to do it to anyone who's [12:57] interested. [12:59] >> There's a lot more in this conversation, [13:00] and it's going to be heartbreaking, but [13:02] it's so important to hear. But first, a [13:04] little lighter note. For the first time [13:06] in my 34 years on this earth, I have [13:08] consistently given tzedakah every single [13:09] day. Literally, every day. Right now, [13:12] I'm on a 68-day streak. This is true. [13:14] There's my phone. And the only reason [13:15] I've actually been able to keep it going [13:17] is the Cole Chabad Pushka. It takes me [13:19] seconds. I open the app, give my [13:21] tzedakah, and that's it. And there's [13:23] something really special about going to [13:24] sleep every night knowing that no matter [13:26] what else happened that day, I gave [13:28] something to help with the neediest [13:29] people in Israel. That money is helping [13:31] real families with food, shelter, and [13:33] the basic necessities they need to live [13:34] with dignity. And I love the streak [13:36] because in the best and most kosher way [13:38] possible, it almost gamifies tzedakah. [13:40] You genuinely don't want to miss a day. [13:43] And it's not gambling or anything like [13:44] that. So, if you're ready to make giving [13:46] tzedakah part of everyday life, download [13:48] the Colel Chabad Pushka app and join me. [13:50] You can go to pushkapp.cc/inspo [13:53] and start your streak today. Maybe [13:55] you'll beat me 68 days later, but I [13:57] don't know about that. But download the [13:58] app and I By all means, maybe beat me to [14:01] it. Now, good businesses know that the [14:03] right software can completely change the [14:05] way they operate. But so many times [14:07] owners wait way too long before [14:09] upgrading to a smarter system. That's [14:10] where Bipping comes in. And when I say [14:12] these guys know what they're doing, look [14:14] at what they've actually built. They've [14:15] helped build the platform behind [14:17] CardCash, which has processed 1.3 [14:19] billion and partnered with companies [14:21] like Walmart and United. They helped [14:23] TorahAnytime scale its platform to over [14:25] 4 million hours of Torah watched with [14:27] more than 100,000 app downloads. They've [14:29] built a system for Chabad on Campus [14:30] serving 150,000 students across 950 plus [14:34] campuses in 22 countries. And they've [14:36] had an 11-year partnership with Eastern [14:38] Union building a loan processing [14:39] platform that's handled over 50 billion [14:41] dollars. These aren't small projects. [14:43] Bipping has a massive team with [14:44] experience across industries. So, [14:46] chances are they've seen the problems [14:48] your business was already dealing with [14:49] and they have the technology to solve [14:51] them. If your business has grown, but [14:53] your software hasn't grown, give them a [14:54] call at 732-806-1125 [14:57] or visit bipping.com and tell them [14:59] Living L'Chaim sent you. Last thing I'm [15:01] going to say before we jump right back [15:02] in, I'll tell you what I like about [15:03] Wheels Fleet. You can call them with [15:05] almost anything and they will solve it. [15:08] You need a Sienna? Boom. Odyssey? They [15:10] got it. You want a really nice Suburban? [15:12] Maybe you need a commercial van for your [15:13] business? They do that, too. They've [15:15] been around since 1989, so they're not [15:17] learning the business on your deal. They [15:19] know the market and they know where the [15:20] cars are and how to get things done [15:23] properly. And that matters because [15:24] sometimes the car you want is sitting at [15:26] the wrong dealership, in the wrong [15:28] state, with the wrong price attached to [15:29] it. Wheels Lease handles all of that. [15:31] You tell them what you're looking for, [15:33] they go out, find it, work the numbers, [15:35] and deliver it right to your house with [15:36] ease with the best price. They work with [15:38] basically every major brand and they do [15:40] leases, they do used cars, they do [15:42] commercial vehicles, all of that. Maybe [15:43] you have an old car you want to sell. [15:45] I've used them myself and my sent people [15:46] there, which is really why I'm [15:48] comfortable talking about them. If [15:50] you're getting a car anyway, just make [15:51] the call. 718-871-8715. [15:54] Email them at inspire@wheelslease.com [15:57] or you can go on the website [15:58] wheelslease.com/inspire. Or you send a [16:00] WhatsApp directly to Saul in the link [16:02] down below. Now back to my episode with [16:05] Rabbi Zeig. There was so many articles [16:08] about um your children and uh [16:11] particularly how much of an impact in [16:13] the community [16:15] that Hana Malkah had. Could you Could [16:17] you tell us about her and how special [16:20] she was? [16:22] >> Yeah. So, I think everybody thinks they [16:23] knew her. I don't mean to brag, but I'm [16:25] probably one of the only ones who really [16:27] did. She was very open and honest with [16:28] me [16:29] about everything. And she really [16:31] struggled internally, but everybody who [16:32] saw her could see a happy, [16:35] outgoing, friendly. She was friends with [16:37] all the neighbors here and none of them [16:38] are Jewish on my block. And in the [16:41] store, everywhere. I'm just meeting new [16:43] people who all knew her, saying good [16:44] morning to everyone. But even the people [16:47] in her class and people in the [16:48] community, they just saw a person who [16:50] was so full of life and energy. Just [16:53] really a source of nature [16:55] and was only interested in helping [16:56] others. [16:58] But she really demanded a certain level [17:00] of excellence. She didn't want people [17:02] who were superficial or shallow [17:04] or hypocritical. So, internally she was [17:07] really struggling with that a lot. She [17:08] really demanded a very intense [17:10] connection and she was very motivated by [17:14] people who wanted more out of life and [17:16] wanted very meaningful relationships. [17:19] So, that much I knew. I think that the [17:21] people here didn't necessarily. I think [17:23] a lot of them did and some of them [17:24] didn't. You just saw a child or she was [17:26] actually a young lady who was [17:28] just her best friends were in 10th grade [17:31] or the other one was 75 and one of them [17:33] was 50. So, she didn't care about age, [17:36] she didn't care about [17:38] social status, really anything. All she [17:39] cared about was finding a quality [17:41] individual who was looking for a [17:42] meaningful connection. And those people [17:43] definitely knew her. [17:45] And others, it didn't really matter. [17:47] Either way, she was very [17:50] interested in bettering everybody's life [17:52] and that made [17:55] her very much missed by everyone. But [17:59] like what I do know is something that I [18:02] think most people don't. She really, [18:03] really cared and she really, really only [18:06] wanted the best for everybody in life. [18:07] She didn't care about jealousy or [18:09] pettiness or anything. She just was [18:11] responding, if you ever saw, to [18:14] people who [18:16] were either mocking Selene or [18:18] ignoring or whatever it would be. [18:19] Something that she felt was a negative. [18:22] So, then she would stand up. She was [18:23] very vocal. She was very principled and [18:25] she was [18:26] very much uh demanding that people live [18:30] to certain standards. So, if they bump [18:31] into, they better say excuse me. If you [18:33] say good morning to someone, they don't [18:34] respond. So, she couldn't really [18:36] tolerate people's rudeness, but in a [18:38] very nice way, she would [18:40] demand them to be better and [18:42] I think a lot of people were very [18:46] inspired by that, very interested to [18:48] have a relationship with that. So, in [18:50] that sense, it's it was definitely a big [18:52] loss and especially her classmates and [18:54] people who knew her [18:55] better that [18:57] she just brought so much joy and she's [19:00] just very outgoing and bubbly and all of [19:01] that. And it's definitely been [19:04] a big, big [19:06] impact on everybody here. [19:09] >> What was it that they them two [19:11] specifically had such a special [19:13] connection, a special relationship. [19:17] >> So, they're the closest in age in my [19:18] family. [19:20] And even as a little child, she used to [19:21] stand by his crib. She was always [19:23] interested. She was a very motherly type [19:26] of [19:27] individual who wanted to nurture people. [19:30] But, as things got more challenging for [19:32] my son and he was less [19:35] uh keeping up with his younger brothers [19:38] or being able to talk or relate to [19:40] others, [19:41] uh she became his voice. And she [19:45] insisted that he speak up for himself, [19:47] that he articulate as much as he could, [19:49] and that he demand that people don't [19:50] take his stuff or they be too loud or [19:53] be too rambunctious. And [19:56] he felt a kindred spirit in that. And [19:58] she really felt that in him, too, [19:59] because she felt [20:01] I think we all felt, but she especially [20:02] felt that [20:04] he was only looking for meaning and [20:06] purpose in his life. And the fact that [20:07] he couldn't talk didn't mean that he [20:09] didn't really want to have very real [20:13] connections with people. So, she was [20:15] seeking that herself. And she found a [20:17] in in Yosef, she found a person that [20:20] really wanted the same thing. He didn't [20:21] care about people's clothes, he didn't [20:23] care about just all the ordinary and [20:26] mundane parts of life. He only cared [20:28] about [20:31] just having real relationships. And it [20:32] was very evident because in school, if [20:34] the teacher or the teacher aid was [20:36] invested in him and they saw his [20:37] personality, he had a real good sense of [20:39] humor, and he was very playful. If they [20:42] responded to that, then he lit up and he [20:46] really wanted to do it because the [20:48] activity or the task in school was very [20:53] meaningful because of the person that [20:55] was there. [20:56] So, she could see that probably more so [20:59] than almost anybody else who knew him. [21:01] And she really, really appreciated that [21:03] about him. And they were just so [21:04] affectionate that he was always loving [21:06] and hugging and [21:09] happy and playful around her and that [21:11] made her also feel like she had a best [21:13] friend, too. [21:14] So, the two of them together were just [21:17] It was something It was a beautiful [21:18] sight to behold. [21:20] >> What's something about the I guess [21:25] autistic [21:26] spectrum that most people misunderstand? [21:30] >> My opinion, it's the fact that they are [21:35] discounted, that they don't have just [21:37] because they don't talk or they [21:38] perseverate on a certain thing. [21:41] They're hyper-focused on a wheel [21:42] spinning and they're flapping their [21:44] hands. They get [21:45] Most people that I've come across get [21:46] very caught up in what they see and they [21:49] don't really see that the person [21:50] underneath is struggling and they're [21:52] kind of trapped in a world of their own [21:54] and they just need someone to reach in [21:55] there and kind of relate to them at [21:57] where they're at and kind of draw them [21:59] out of it. And I feel like most people [22:01] there's a category of people who are [22:03] afraid and unpredic- the dictability of [22:06] it all is a little bit, you know, [22:08] intimidating. And then there's another [22:10] group people who just write them off and [22:13] they just see them as less than and [22:15] incompetent. [22:17] And I think that people who really get [22:19] to know them, they see that [22:20] as difficult as challenging as aspects [22:22] of their life are, they have so much to [22:24] give and they're really, in my opinion, [22:27] they really have a lot more to [22:28] contribute to the world than a lot of [22:29] other people in the sense that they're [22:31] trying their hardest and they want to [22:33] have something real and they're not [22:35] interested in who's having a baby and [22:37] who's marrying who and who made how much [22:39] money and what color shirt you bought. [22:41] They're interested in something that I [22:44] think is what the world is about, [22:45] something of significance and something [22:47] of purpose. [22:48] And if we could just kind of get past [22:50] those external layers, we can see that [22:53] there are beautiful people underneath [22:55] and it's not a pity thing. In my mind, [22:57] anyway, it's taught me about what life [22:59] is all about. I don't think I was a bad [23:01] person before he was born, but it [23:02] definitely changed my whole perspective [23:04] on life and what mattered. It's not how [23:06] many dinners you go to, it's not how [23:07] many bar mitzvahs you attend, or how [23:09] many chasuns you go to. It's about [23:11] having real true bonds in a very [23:14] meaningful way. And I think if you look, [23:16] cuz I've been in a lot of these schools, [23:18] if you look and you really try to reach [23:20] out of your own little bubble and see [23:23] the world from their point of view, you [23:24] can see that they have a life that in a [23:26] lot of ways, as far as I can see, a lot [23:29] more meaningful and a lot more [23:30] purposeful than the people who are just [23:32] kind of caught up in the trappings of [23:34] life and [23:35] the superficialities and so forth. [23:38] >> In Yeshiva and in, you know, in from [23:40] Jewish homes, we're always [23:41] imbued with the ideas of Emunah and [23:43] Bitachon. And, you know, intellectually [23:46] it's it's a a very simple process to [23:49] understand. Like, okay, we we believe [23:51] and trust in Hashem. [23:53] You know, and and throughout life [23:55] everyone has their own challenges in in [23:57] some way or another. And, you know, no [23:58] one would argue that, you know, right [24:00] now you're being so very much tested. [24:03] How do you [24:05] how do you grapple with that? How do you [24:08] I I don't know. How do you talk to [24:09] Hashem? What's what's what's your [24:11] connection been like in the in the past [24:13] 30 days? [24:15] >> So, when I was in the hospital, I called [24:17] people that I know that had lost [24:18] children and grandchildren. And I asked [24:20] them how they dealt with it. It was a [24:22] very dark place for me. [24:23] And that's what [24:25] probably half of them told me about [24:27] Emunah and you have to know that Hashem [24:28] does and none of that ring true to me in [24:31] the sense that, of course, doesn't make [24:33] any sense any other way. I understand [24:35] that we're all living in a world of [24:36] Emunah. I understand that we're all [24:37] interconnected. And Emunah is never, if [24:40] anything, I I think I started to love [24:42] Hashem more and I started to appreciate [24:44] his plan and we're all a part of that. [24:48] And I didn't really understand that. I [24:50] still don't understand this whole [24:52] grappling. The whole thing of being [24:53] afraid of death or Emunah, that's [24:56] something that's unrelated to this. [24:57] That's something a person has to know [24:59] every day and I've been dealing with [25:00] it's a mitzvah every day to internalize [25:02] it more and to know it more. [25:04] And this to me was just so obvious that [25:08] they had lived their life that they were [25:09] supposed to. They had enlightened [25:11] everybody who knew them and even people [25:13] who had heard about them [25:15] before this. [25:16] And that's what they were here for. So, [25:18] the whole concept that it's a struggle [25:20] or [25:21] a grappling with I I just I don't [25:23] understand that and it doesn't make any [25:24] sense to me. And I find that it's kind [25:28] of missing the picture in the sense that [25:31] now what do we do? What does Hashem [25:32] want? Write your fast fish but my stuff [25:34] you have to [25:35] of course you want a mesa. [25:37] You have to understand what we're [25:38] supposed to do and how do we move? It's [25:40] not a problem for me. It's a problem for [25:41] Hashem that two of his children are no [25:43] longer here. How can we replace that and [25:46] fill that void? [25:48] And to me it was just again after the [25:50] first few days where I felt dead inside, [25:52] I understood [25:54] that not only is there a message for me, [25:56] not only is there a reason that this had [25:57] to be and that's what they were always [25:59] destined, but I understood that it [26:01] became a charge and it fell imperative [26:03] upon me and the people who know them [26:05] best to try to incorporate what they had [26:10] shown all of us and [26:12] you know, try to spread or let others [26:15] know about it and try to be a positive [26:17] influence on others in this way. So, [26:20] yeah, so I guess emunah [26:22] just like I don't know. I I got it from [26:24] a lot of people. I've heard from more [26:25] people even after the shiva and I just I [26:27] don't really understand. It doesn't [26:29] really [26:30] uh reconcile in my mind as to what this [26:33] has to do with that because [26:35] I understood that it was always from him [26:37] and everything is and we're always [26:38] living in that space. So, [26:41] I don't know, but that's where that's [26:43] how I was always approaching it. [26:45] >> And and that makes sense. I mean [26:47] everyone [26:48] grapples with grief in in their own way [26:50] and their different ways. So, of course, [26:52] you know, you asking others who lost [26:54] children, you know, that's how they [26:56] relate to it and, you know, you relate [26:58] to it in your own way and [27:00] it makes sense that it doesn't make [27:01] sense. [27:02] Yep. For me, the most powerful part is [27:05] coming up. But, again, on a lighter [27:07] note, we are going to talk about [27:09] something that I have to be honest [27:10] about. About a month ago, Primal Crust [27:12] sent me a whole entire box with maybe 50 [27:14] of these bags and I am down to two. I [27:18] gave a lot away and I also ate probably [27:20] too many of them. They are that [27:22] addicting. If you are curious what in [27:24] the world is a meat chip or a chicken [27:25] chip, well, you're in for a surprise. [27:27] These are delicious. They're actually [27:29] really great that each bag has 38 g of [27:31] protein and it's just straight up what [27:33] it is, either meat, chicken, some salt, [27:36] and bada bing bada boom. No [27:37] preservatives, no weird stuff in there, [27:39] just good all plain meat and beef and [27:42] chicken. If you are ready to take the [27:44] plunge and taste the new revolution in [27:46] kosher food, I highly recommend going to [27:49] primalcrust.com. [27:51] Use the code word inspire and you will [27:52] get 15% off your first purchase. [27:55] Warning, these are addicting. They're [27:57] not really a snack, they're not really a [27:58] meal. I don't know what they are, but [28:00] all I know is they're yummy and they are [28:02] a staple in the Langer home now. [28:04] A lot of people look to us for good [28:05] content and something that we take great [28:07] pride in is suggesting amazing, amazing, [28:09] incredible books and seforim to the [28:11] world. Well, this month Feldheim has [28:13] three new releases worth checking out. [28:15] First is Rebbetzin Kaplan, young readers [28:17] edition, introducing younger readers to [28:19] the incredible woman who helped [28:21] transform Jewish education in America. [28:23] And if her story speaks to you, Feldheim [28:25] has other related titles about Rebbetzin [28:26] Kaplan worth exploring as well. This is [28:29] great for young readers and also for the [28:30] readers who maybe are older, but want to [28:32] learn about her in an easy to consume [28:34] way. Every time I go into my in-laws [28:36] house, I see this book and now I have [28:37] one of my own, daily dose, featuring [28:39] your favorite Torah anytime speakers in [28:41] one book with short, powerful bursts of [28:43] inspiration you could pick up, read [28:44] anytime. It's a life hack, by the way. [28:46] It's great for divrei Torahs and [28:48] Shabbos. It's short to the point and has [28:51] some of the greatest rabbonim that [28:52] you've ever seen all in one book. Thank [28:54] you to them and Torah Anytime. And for [28:56] the third book of the month, The Making [28:58] of a Minhag. If you ever wonder how our [29:00] minhagim actually come from, this book [29:02] explores the fascinating origins of the [29:03] customs we practice and how they become [29:05] part of Jewish life. Here are some [29:06] examples. Do you have to dip an apple in [29:08] honey on Rosh Hashanah? What is the [29:10] source and reason for masquerading on [29:11] Purim? What is Lag BaOmer all about? How [29:13] much do I really have to clean for [29:14] Pesach? What are the limits on traveling [29:16] during the nine days? These are [29:17] questions that I've had that I didn't [29:19] get the answer to, but I am so excited [29:21] to dig in. This is going to be something [29:23] I pound on Shabbos. You can find all [29:25] three of these books right now on [29:27] feldheim.com. Of course, you could join [29:29] the Living L'Chaim Book Club in the link [29:31] in the show notes and go ahead and check [29:33] out all the incredible books at [29:34] Feldheim. Of course, it's available in [29:36] all Judaica stores, but get it on [29:37] feldheim.com right now. And before we [29:39] get back, here is my brother Eli Langer. [29:42] >> Eli Langer, the Kosher Money Guy here. I [29:44] want to tell you about something you've [29:45] probably never thought about once in [29:48] your whole life, and it's going to [29:49] bother you a little bit, in a good way. [29:52] Has this ever happened to you? You're [29:54] backing out of a parking spot and you [29:55] hear that horrible crunch. You get out [29:58] and sure enough, there's a dent on the [29:59] car next to you that happens to have the [30:02] Living L'Chaim car magnet on it. [30:04] Nobody's around, so you did the right [30:06] thing. You leave a note with your [30:07] number, you get back in and you drive [30:09] away. And that was five years ago. [30:11] Nobody ever called you. You still have [30:13] no idea whose car it was, and you still [30:15] owe that person money. Maybe the note [30:17] flew away and they never even saw it. [30:20] But, your chiyuv does not disappear just [30:21] because you couldn't find them. And the [30:24] same thing with mustard that you smeared [30:26] on some guy's jacket squeezing past him [30:28] at kiddush. [30:29] Same thing with the customer you [30:30] accidentally overcharged and can't track [30:32] down. [30:33] That's exactly what nechtal.org was [30:36] founded for. What you're going to do is [30:38] clear your debt al pi halacha when the [30:40] person you owe is unknown or [30:43] unreachable. And this is a real thing. [30:44] Nechtdal.org was founded by Gedolei [30:46] Poskim and is warmly endorsed by Gedolei [30:49] Yisrael across the board from Harav [30:51] Yitzchak Zilberstein and Harav Michel [30:53] Steinmetz shlita to Rav Dovid Lau and [30:56] Rav Dovid Yosef shlita. Yom Kippur's [30:59] coming. Hashem forgives what's between [31:00] you and him, but money you owe another [31:03] person does not clear itself. You can [31:05] clear your debt by going to nechtdal.org [31:07] or call their place hotline for help at [31:09] 718-750-4080. [31:13] That's nechtdal.org 718-750-4080. [31:17] It's completely interesting to watch how [31:20] and what they do with the money and you [31:22] will be able to have a scot-free Yom [31:24] Kippur bein adam l'makom and bein adam [31:27] l'chavero. Enjoy. And now back to my [31:30] conversation with Rabbi Zwiebel. If [31:33] you could hear Chana Malkah because you [31:36] know, we know she's looking down and we [31:38] know Yosef's looking down. What do you [31:40] think she'd be telling you right now? [31:44] >> I know her very well. She'd be saying [31:45] stop feeling so sorry for yourself. We [31:48] had that kind of running joke between [31:49] the two of us. It's like [31:51] it's kind of always been my philosophy [31:53] as a parent that again, she took it [31:55] maybe to another level where things are [31:57] challenging in life and there are [31:59] difficulties and that's the nature of [32:00] life. It's not a problem. It's a way [32:03] that we become more complete and a way [32:05] we become more developed as human [32:06] beings. So this whole wallowing in [32:08] self-pity and this whole [32:11] It's so hard. It's you know, it's a [32:12] challenge but you know, bitachon it's a [32:14] challenge but gamzu l'tovah. Like that [32:16] doesn't really reconcile. Of course, [32:17] obviously. Now the question is then how [32:19] do we go? It's not just like there's two [32:21] different things where I feel bad but I [32:23] know there's an overriding concept [32:25] called gamzu l'tovah or some other [32:28] master plan. [32:29] It's just part and parcel of our daily [32:31] living. It's who we are and it's how we [32:33] become formed as human beings. And [32:35] therefore she wouldn't want to see me. [32:37] It's like you always said we're going to [32:38] die. We talked about it all the time. [32:39] She always was talking about it. Tries [32:41] to amaze them and what the purpose of [32:43] create everything. So, we had talked [32:45] about [32:46] probably this year probably 50 if not [32:48] 100 times about the inevitability of [32:50] death and the most of Messiah and all [32:52] that. So, [32:53] why are you so sad? Like, what are you [32:55] And my only answer is it's true. [32:59] Since that you know it, but [33:03] you know [33:04] you still want to be together with the [33:06] person because [33:12] because [33:14] Sorry. Because [33:16] you have so much more to grow and to [33:17] learn [33:18] from one another. So, [33:21] as [33:23] as much as [33:25] we always know it out within a shock. [33:28] Okay, so it's a little earlier than [33:29] perhaps we [33:31] we had expected it to be, but [33:35] we understood that our whole purpose of [33:37] life was always to get to this point. [33:39] Sometimes a little earlier. [33:41] However, you still want to be [33:45] Excuse me. You still want to be [33:46] together. [33:50] And share in those [33:53] share in those experiences and learn [33:55] from each other and grow from each [33:56] other. So, that's my only response. You [33:58] know exactly [34:00] the same way as you knew [34:02] what you'll say for today. I always [34:05] could predict what you would say and she [34:07] and the same for me. So, I know what she [34:08] would say and I know what I would say [34:09] back and I still have [34:11] >> [snorts] [34:12] >> those [34:14] back and forth of those dialogues with [34:16] her even over this past few weeks. [34:19] I can I can feel her. I can see her. I [34:22] picture her [34:23] and I know [34:25] all the conversations that we would [34:27] have. [34:30] >> [snorts] [34:34] >> But the truth is they still want to have [34:36] them [34:37] >> [snorts] [34:38] >> in person. It's [34:40] It's nice to know how people think and [34:42] how people feel. [34:45] But it's better to experience it and [34:50] that experience and [34:52] sharing because she would be the best [34:53] person to talk to [34:55] >> [snorts] [34:56] >> for me to talk to about this. [34:58] She would be [35:01] so empathetic and so understanding while [35:03] still challenging while still [35:06] grieving, while still sharing experience [35:08] with you. She knew exactly how to push, [35:09] how to pull back. She did it with Yosef [35:11] and we did it with each other that [35:13] sometimes you got to motivate people, [35:15] you got to push them along and sometimes [35:16] you got to pull back and let them [35:20] you know, suffer and let them deal with [35:22] pain and and just be a friend and just [35:24] be present and just be supportive. And [35:27] she would know exactly [35:33] >> [gasps] [35:34] >> how I'm feeling, how I was feeling, how [35:36] I have [35:37] She just intuitively understood and the [35:38] truth is so did Yosef. Unfortunately, he [35:41] didn't have as many words, but he was so [35:43] empathetic. He saw me upset, I wasn't [35:45] feeling well, he would [35:47] be next to me. [35:49] He would hug me. He was always reaching [35:51] out to be there. As challenging as his [35:53] life was, he was always reaching out [35:57] to help people [35:59] who have their own set of challenges and [36:01] their own struggles cuz everybody [36:02] struggles, everybody's got [36:04] >> [snorts] [36:04] >> issues in life and he [36:06] was able to see past his own to reach [36:08] out. So the two of them [36:10] would be the perfect fit. I feel a [36:12] little bad cuz my other two sons are [36:13] also on their phone and I don't mean to [36:15] minimize my wife. I don't mean to [36:16] minimize [36:18] how supportive they've been and how [36:19] much, but everybody's special in their [36:21] own way and everybody has a unique way [36:22] to speak to another person. So it [36:24] touches me very differently. My son, [36:27] Yosef one way, Hamza one way, [36:29] >> [snorts] [36:29] >> and my other boys a different way, and [36:31] it just feels very incomplete and very [36:33] empty. [36:35] Because those relationships [36:37] >> [gasps] [36:38] >> were very special and would be exactly [36:41] what I needed now, but [36:44] obviously [snorts] [36:46] it's the way it's meant to be, and I've [36:48] learned so much and I've grown so much, [36:49] and now it's just a matter of [36:51] kind of [36:52] playing both roles in the [36:55] in the relationship, unfortunately. And [36:57] even with Youssef, and picturing them as [36:58] they would have gotten older, and I go [37:00] [snorts] to their school every day [37:01] still. [37:02] I can see them. [37:07] I can see them walking in and walking [37:08] out. They're in two different schools, [37:10] so I switch off days which one I go to. [37:12] >> [snorts] [37:14] >> Cuz I can envision [37:17] all of it. So, it's in a similar [37:19] fashion, I can envision all the things [37:20] that they would say, and how [37:23] loving and [37:24] understanding they would be. [37:26] >> [snorts] [37:27] >> So, it makes me happy. It's very [37:30] painful, but I'm sad about it, but I'm [37:31] also very happy cuz I feel closer to [37:33] them like that. But, unfortunately, [37:35] nothing's ever as they say, nothing's [37:36] ever the same as the real deal. You can [37:38] tell what's the real McCoy [37:40] when you experience it and you do it [37:41] together with someone. [37:42] Everything else really pales in by [37:44] comparison, so [37:45] that part's been difficult, [37:47] but I know what she would tell me, that [37:49] is don't feel bad. [37:51] >> [snorts] [37:55] >> Which is what I would tell her, too. You [37:57] know, you can't struggle in life to the [37:59] point where you get stuck. You can [38:00] struggle, but you got to [38:02] figure [snorts] [38:05] just being mad or being hurt as [38:06] traumatic as some events are in life. [38:10] Can't throw the rest of your life away. [38:11] You still got to maximize, still got to [38:12] make the best of everything. [38:14] >> [snorts] [38:15] >> So, yeah, I guess that's [38:18] the simplest form that I know what she [38:19] would say, and again, in a lot of ways, [38:21] that's what he would be doing too. He [38:22] would be very empathetic, but then he [38:24] would be, "Okay, cool movie. You know, [38:25] like for me it's got to get up. We got [38:27] to move on in life as challenging as [38:28] difficult things are. [38:30] >> [snorts] [38:30] >> We got to face it, and it's a mission. [38:32] We're not here that long. So, [38:35] let's make the most of it, and let's [38:37] make the biggest [38:38] broach on the biggest impact that we [38:40] can. [38:41] >> [snorts] [38:41] >> That's why we were created. So, we got [38:44] to keep going with that. [38:46] >> That's very powerful. Thank you for [38:47] sharing that. [38:49] You know, that the time of year that [38:51] we're in, you know, a lot of people are [38:52] are getting for ready for [38:55] the Yamim Noraim, Rosh Hashanah. [38:58] It's the month of Elul, Yom Kippur. [39:00] You know, [39:01] obviously, it's it's always a big time [39:03] of year for everyone, but for you in [39:04] particular, how how are you approaching [39:08] that, or or mentally maybe you're not [39:09] even up to that yet? [39:12] >> No, I have I have started thinking about [39:13] it, you know, cuz we always know Meah [39:15] Shearim. Almost we understood that all [39:17] this was [39:18] determined. [39:20] And we were just trying to figure out, [39:21] you know, it's after Tu B'Av. Chanamalka [39:23] never got married. I felt a connection [39:25] there, but going into Elul, Yom Kippur, [39:27] she always wanted to die in Meah [39:28] Shearim. And Simchat Torah was the [39:30] happiest day for the two of them. [39:32] He only [snorts] went a couple times to [39:34] Yosef, [39:35] but he loved it. So, she made Hakafot [39:37] there. We did it last year, and we [39:38] actually happened to do it a little [39:40] after Pesach this year. And we did Adon [39:42] Olam Hakafot. Moshe Emes was his [39:44] favorite song. [39:45] But even Yom Kippur was a very not so [39:47] much for Yosef, but for Chanamalka it [39:49] was a very [39:51] important day as obviously this for [39:53] everyone, but wasn't just introspection [39:55] and growth, but it was really trying to [39:56] figure out what makes us tick and why we [39:58] had failed and why we weren't actually [40:00] becoming the people that we had resolved [40:02] and committed to be last year. If Hashem [40:04] is that important to us, then we [40:05] understood that we heard him, so then [40:07] how come I keep and every [40:09] [clears throat] year would be [40:09] conversations along those lines about [40:12] not changing our behaviors, but becoming [40:14] different people. [40:16] So, [40:18] with that in mind, I was thinking about [40:19] all the stuff that they had actualized [40:22] and they had in a lot of ways perfected [40:24] and they had other struggles, but in so [40:25] many ways they had really perfected that [40:28] internal peace and really living every [40:30] day for the reason for which we were [40:31] created, how I was going to and how I [40:34] plan to incorporate that [40:36] into Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's [40:39] not a day of [40:41] connecting with Hashem merely. It's not [40:43] to get a part, but it's really a way [40:46] It's not even a wake-up call. It's [40:47] really a way of approaching, [40:48] understanding who we are [40:50] and how to be the best version of [40:52] ourselves. And as we get to that level, [40:53] then we got to challenge ourselves to [40:56] up it to another level and [41:00] I know that's what she would be [41:01] encouraging me and again, so would he [41:04] because of his demands and he had grown [41:05] so much and there was a whole [41:09] bunch of vistas and everything in his [41:10] life was really expanding and relating [41:12] to others. I know that would also push [41:13] me to [41:15] have to be more present. I'd have to [41:17] listen and [41:19] understand him even more than I did and [41:21] I just would take that type of message [41:25] for myself. [41:26] The the things that we do in life aren't [41:29] they're good enough, but they're never [41:31] the end. And we got to keep [41:33] upping to the next level and I think, [41:35] you know, again, specifically Yom Kippur [41:37] and that simplest Torah really the [41:39] culmination of all that, just being the [41:40] simple with Hashem. [41:42] >> [snorts] [41:43] >> That I that I've already started [41:44] thinking about and that as Rosh [41:46] Hashanah, I hope to actually implement [41:48] through the whole Elul, Rosh Hashanah, [41:50] Yom Kippur. [41:52] >> There are so many [41:54] lessons that we could take out from [41:56] Chana Malkah and Yosef But. For me [41:59] personally, uh what you mentioned [42:00] before, this fact that [42:03] they were so connected. They have like [42:06] the to me [42:09] that bein adam l'chavero, I mean, I know [42:11] they're brother and sister, but the half [42:13] the reka kamocha that they were [42:17] you know, they understood each other on [42:19] such a deeper level. And the fact that [42:20] obviously, you know, she was trying to [42:22] save him in the end, and then uh you [42:24] know, they were both fighting for their [42:25] lives, and [42:27] the fact that they, you know, once he [42:29] passed away, and then she, you know, [42:31] passed away after, the fact that [42:33] you know, this the strange feeling, I [42:36] guess, that she couldn't be here with [42:38] without him, and [42:40] that deep connection of, you know, how [42:41] how many how many people could say that [42:43] about others that we feel so connected [42:45] to them. And I'm sure as, you know, [42:47] their father, you you saw that that deep [42:49] deep connection. [42:51] >> Yes, very much so. And I was actually [42:53] thinking this week, we talk about nafsho [42:55] kshura, so I was wondering that it's a [42:58] kesher, and like by when we get married, [42:59] we call it a kesher shel kayama when [43:01] they do the shidduch or the tenaim. It's [43:03] a kesher. [43:04] And it's not an ariga, we don't weave [43:07] things together, we don't bind like an [43:09] egged, we don't tie things together, [43:10] it's kshura. So, I was thinking that [43:13] very much that the two of them becoming [43:15] a one where we are the visible entities, [43:18] but the oneness that we form with people [43:21] that we love, and ultimately with [43:23] Hashem, is that the two of us make, we [43:26] become knotted together, and we create a [43:28] third thing that is us two together. So, [43:31] we're distinct, in egged, we connect to [43:33] each other. In ariga, we really [43:35] bond, and we really become one. And I [43:38] was thinking that the kesher is really [43:40] the idea that we're creating a new [43:43] powerful third [43:46] state of being, and the two of them was [43:48] very evident that she became a better [43:50] version of herself because of him. She [43:53] was just understood by him, he was so [43:55] accepting, if she had a hard day at [43:57] school, whatever it was, and that made [43:58] her and therefore she wanted to be a [44:01] better version of herself for him, for [44:03] everybody, but that really put an [44:05] expectation. And then the reverse was [44:07] obviously the case. When she came into [44:08] the room, he would jump up. He just came [44:10] to life. He was so [44:12] happy, enthusiastic just to spend time [44:15] with her. And the commitment and the [44:16] devotion was [44:20] it was really something [44:22] that was remarkable in the sense that I [44:24] loved him and I spent a lot of time with [44:25] him, but she would read the same book [44:28] with different tones and inflection, all [44:29] the different voices. [44:31] Believe it or not, 500 times in a row. I [44:33] mean, hours and hours. She was She knew [44:35] them all by heart. She knew all his toys [44:37] by heart. She was so attuned to [44:38] everything that he was and who he was [44:40] and what was interesting to him, but she [44:42] never became dull or stale in that. [44:45] Every single time she would be [44:48] enthusiastic and she would be [44:49] challenging him and pushing him and [44:51] relating to him and being patient, [44:53] waiting for him to talk and the pacing [44:55] was perfect. So, that was just [44:59] transformative to Yosef. He just became [45:03] just a different person than if you [45:04] just, you know, didn't know him and you [45:06] just saw him in the street. You would [45:08] just kind of dismiss and you would just [45:09] go, "Oh, okay. [clears throat] He's got [45:10] challenges." When he was around her, he [45:12] became [45:14] just a whole 'nother being and it was [45:16] just really [snorts] a kashrus shulchan [45:18] aruch of the two of them. [45:20] Just wanted to make sure that everybody [45:22] knows I'm not person who seeks the [45:24] limelight. I don't really [45:26] like giving interviews or [45:28] And Chana Malkah especially she was and [45:30] Yosef too, they were very much [45:31] introverts. They were very much [45:32] interested in living a very happy [45:34] fulfilled life, but not a public life. [45:37] And I know she wouldn't be very happy [45:38] about the picture that was of her in the [45:41] New York Post. However, if she thought [45:43] somebody would grow from it and she [45:44] thought somebody would maybe improve [45:46] something in their life, she would be [45:47] okay with it as much as she wouldn't [45:49] want it that to be out there. [45:51] And I feel the same sort of way that I'm [45:54] not really interested. I understand [45:56] there's a big market and there is [45:57] monetization and there's sensationalism [45:59] and people, you know, capitalize or I [46:02] don't care about any of that. I just [46:04] want what we had worked to and again she [46:07] and Yosef had really take it to a whole [46:10] other level. I just wanted that message [46:12] and that idea to be out there. [46:14] So, if anybody can grow from it and can [46:16] be inspired by it, great. [46:18] If not, [46:19] we're not We're not selling anything. [46:21] We're not trying to convince anybody of [46:22] anything and everybody should just [46:25] continue and be happy. So, I felt like [46:27] it was a worthwhile endeavor to try to [46:29] spread a little bit of the message and [46:31] this is a wonderful platform to do it. [46:33] And to anybody who's interested, they [46:36] may take it or they may leave it. [46:38] >> I'll [46:39] thank you for raising two beautiful [46:41] children that although they're not here [46:44] physically, but the impact of [46:48] who Chana Malkah was, the impact of who [46:50] Yosef was will will be on for [46:52] generations and we'll all learn from [46:55] them and [46:56] just wishing you and your family just [47:00] just [47:01] um the ability to to get through this [47:03] and uh know that you're loved and we we [47:06] appreciate you. [47:08] >> Thank you. I appreciate that. [47:10] >> I have to be honest, this was a very [47:12] painful, but also a very important [47:15] episode. Rabbi Yishai, we'll be looking [47:16] at the comments, so please leave words [47:18] of comfort. If you knew Yosef or Chana [47:21] Malkah alav hashalom, please leave [47:23] something about them in the comments or [47:24] maybe there's a message or an idea that [47:26] you're going to take out from them and [47:28] their beautiful lives. [47:29] >> [music] [47:29] >> Thanks again to our partners, Wheels O [47:31] List, Bippi, Nachtal, Kol HaKavod, [47:33] Primal Crisp and Felt Time. Now, I don't [47:36] know how a father loses both of his [47:38] children and keeps going [music] and I [47:39] think what struck me most from this [47:40] conversation is that Rabbi Yishai [47:42] doesn't really know either. He doesn't [47:44] feel like he can go on, but [47:46] >> [music] [47:46] >> he's choosing to. And maybe part of that [47:48] is making sure Yosef and Chana Malkah [47:50] continue to live through what they [47:52] taught [music] us. From Yosef, the [47:53] courage to be yourself, to know who you [47:55] are and not be afraid to live that way. [47:57] And from Chana Malkah to accept people, [47:59] to see them for who they are, to love [48:01] them and at the same [music] time to [48:03] never stop striving for MS. Their lives [48:05] were far too short, but what they left [48:07] behind doesn't have to be. May we carry [48:09] a little bit of Yosef and Chana Malkah [48:11] with us and may their family somehow [48:13] find the strength to keep moving [48:14] forward. Remember, you have to look, but [48:17] inspiration's everywhere. L'chaim. [48:20] >> [music] [48:20] >> Living L'chaim.
