Transcript [00:00] And there was a genuine Indian guru a [00:02] woman who who was called Maji. And so I [00:04] asked if I could stay [music] come there [00:06] for the summer for two months. [00:10] I ended up staying 15 years. We [00:12] practiced meditation three times a day. [00:14] Throughout that year every [music] two [00:16] weeks there was another scandal with [00:18] another guru, another swami, another Zen [00:20] master. And these were people who were [00:22] preaching celibacy but they weren't [00:24] living it. So I went [music] to [00:26] Jerusalem. I came on a two-month ticket [00:29] and and never left. [laughter] And [00:31] that's been what this is 2026. So then I [00:35] came into 41 years. And I had a fear of [00:37] having children because I identified [00:40] children with little vulnerable beings [00:44] that die. There [music] was only one [00:45] egg. [00:47] It was a joke. It was like ridiculous. [00:49] Nobody gets pregnant with one egg. Good [00:51] idea. Never happened. Rabbits Sarah [00:54] Wrigler spent 15 years living in an [00:56] ashram. She meditated three times a day, [00:59] taught videnda philosophy and served as [01:01] a personal secretary to the guru. She [01:03] went east searching for God. Then one [01:06] conversation with an orthodox rabbi [01:08] turned her whole world upside down. [01:10] Eight months later, she was studying [01:12] Torah in Jerusalem. Today, she is one of [01:14] the most widely read Jewish authors [01:16] alive and a world-class Torah teacher. [01:18] We speak about those 15 years in the [01:20] ashram, a lifealtering experience around [01:22] her fear of having children and what she [01:24] found in Judaism that 15 years of [01:26] eastern spirituality never gave her. [01:28] This episode is in loving memory of Shim [01:30] and David Mñak of Schllemo whose yard [01:32] site was this past week and Mimsar [01:34] Basyak of Mosha. You will hear from our [01:36] wonderful sponsors at BF Design, Cole [01:39] Kabad, Primal Crisp, Wheels and Daily [01:43] 613, Daily 613. Without further ado, [01:46] here we go. Revisson Wriggler, thank you [01:48] so much for taking the time to do this [01:49] and there's so much to cover. So, take [01:52] us back to the beginning. Where were you [01:53] born? How did you grow up? And the next [01:56] steps after that. [01:58] >> I'm very happy to be on with you, Yakov. [02:00] I was born in the Philadelphia area, the [02:03] Jersey side of the Delaware River in [02:05] Camden, New Jersey. Uh, which became [02:08] when the Jews all moved out of Camden to [02:10] the suburbs, it became Cherry Hill. Uh, [02:13] but it was Philadelphia area. I was a [02:15] very strong bastion of conservative [02:17] Judaism. I was born our family was were [02:21] very my parents were very devout [02:24] conservative Jews. Our house was kosher. [02:27] We had two sets of dishes. Uh four sets [02:30] of dishes if you include Pesak. My [02:32] mother took changed everything for [02:34] Pesak. All we all p everything [02:37] completely kosher. Uh we went to public [02:39] school. My brother and I went to public [02:41] school. We we did not go in the first [02:44] two days in addition of course to the [02:45] high holidays but we didn't go the first [02:46] two days of pesaf the last two days of [02:48] pesaf the first two days of sukus the [02:49] last two days of sukus and we went to uh [02:52] we went to shaw every Friday night the [02:55] conservative conservative Judaism now [02:58] I'm talking of of course about the 1950s [03:00] and 1960s so conservative Judaism is [03:03] very different today but in those days [03:05] at least in the Philadelphia area it was [03:08] very it was very they took Judaism very [03:11] seriously I went to Hebrew school till I [03:14] was 18 years old and went away to [03:15] college. I went two nights a week to [03:17] Hebrew school and we learned real stuff. [03:19] We learned we learned Rambom. We learned [03:20] Homish with Rashi. We learned real [03:22] stuff. I was president of our youth [03:25] group in our synagogue, the USY. I was [03:27] president of our USY chapter. I was on [03:29] the national board of USY. I was a very, [03:31] very committed conservative Jew. And I [03:35] went for college to Brandeise, which it [03:38] was is a a secular Jewish university. It [03:42] was founded in order to catch the runoff [03:45] of from the Ivy League schools, all the [03:46] smart Jewish kids who couldn't get into [03:48] the Ivy League schools because there was [03:49] numerous classes, which means uh quotas. [03:51] There were quotas. So when the quota of [03:54] Jewish kids was filled at the Ivy League [03:55] schools, and there were a lot of smart [03:56] Jewish kids left, I was at the top of my [03:58] class in high school. Uh you know, they [04:00] had somewhere to go. So that was [04:02] Brandeise. So although I was accepted to [04:04] I applied to three Ivy League schools, I [04:06] was accepted to one University of [04:07] Pennsylvania, but it was too close to [04:09] home. So I wanted to go away have the [04:11] experience of the college experience. So [04:13] I went to Brandeise, which was in the [04:15] Boston area. Also, one of the pros of [04:18] going to Brandeise was it had a kosher [04:20] food line. uh the green trays in one of [04:23] not the hill, not Kabad, the actual [04:27] kitchen of one of the places, one of the [04:30] food places of one of the dormitories [04:32] had a co had a kosher kitchen and a [04:34] kosher line. When I was [04:38] ready to go, when I was approaching my [04:39] junior year, I wanted to travel. I [04:41] wanted to go someplace exotic and [04:43] interesting. And I couldn't go to uh [04:45] Japan because the Japanese school year [04:48] did not sync with the American school [04:49] year. and I couldn't go to France [04:52] because I wasn't a French major. I was a [04:53] psych major. So I saw an advert a [04:57] brochure for University of Wisconsin's [04:59] college year in India program. It was a [05:01] university accredited program in India [05:05] and I applied to that and I got [05:06] accepted. Now this was 1968. It was just [05:10] the beginning of the west's fascination [05:12] with eastern spirituality. So uh [05:17] I don't know it's so hard looking back [05:19] upon this what are we talking 50 years [05:22] that the the Beatles had just been to [05:25] India the year before they had found a [05:27] guru so it was like just the beginning [05:30] so I went to India for the year got [05:32] college credit for it I went to it was [05:34] the holy city of Hinduism called Varnasi [05:37] in those days the English term was [05:39] benaris and the thing to do of course I [05:41] was studying in the university English [05:43] Indian philosy But the thing to do of [05:44] course was to uh find a guru. So I found [05:47] a guru. I now a guru means like a [05:50] spiritual teacher. [05:53] I had to find a guru who was [05:55] intellectual because I was [05:57] intellectually prone. So I found a [06:00] wonderful guru. His name was Gopinat [06:01] Kabi. He was the retired head of the [06:04] Sanskrit college in Barnasi. And uh he [06:08] he he was brilliant. He he wrote books [06:12] in in Bengali, one of them in English, [06:15] in Sanskrit. He he was really an [06:17] intellectual and uh he [06:22] started out by teaching me something [06:24] that totally changed my life. He said [06:29] that there are three dimensions of [06:31] reality. There's the physical dimension [06:33] which of course I knew. I was very aware [06:35] of my body. There's the mental dimension [06:38] which includes the emotions which I also [06:41] knew because I mean [06:44] in middle class Jewish world of that [06:46] time where I grew up it was all about [06:50] academic achievement the non-firm world [06:53] you had to study very hard to get into a [06:55] very good college and then you had to [06:57] study hard in college to get into a good [06:59] grad school and then you had to get you [07:01] know a postgraduate degree and another [07:03] post-graduate degree. So like I was very [07:06] aware of the mental the mental level of [07:09] reality but then he said there's even a [07:11] higher level of reality which is the [07:12] spiritual level of reality which [07:14] includes God and souls. And I was like [07:17] what? I had never heard of the spiritual [07:19] dimension of reality. I was like I [07:22] thought I was a a mind inside a body. [07:24] And he taught me that I'm a soul who has [07:28] a mind and a body. [07:30] >> And it totally changed my life because [07:32] I'm a type A personality. That means I'm [07:34] very achievement oriented. So you tell [07:36] me that the highest thing is the [07:38] spiritual level. Okay, I'm going to go [07:39] for the highest. You know, I'm not going [07:40] to settle for the middle. So from that [07:43] point on, all I wanted was spiritual [07:47] growth, spiritual achievement, [07:48] enlightenment. [07:50] He taught me how to meditate, [07:53] which is the way to attain that higher [07:56] consciousness. Um there are different [07:59] brain waves. So like when you sleep [08:02] that's delta brain waves and when you [08:04] like what we're now we're just talking [08:06] daily consciousness is is uh called beta [08:10] waves. [08:12] When you meditate you it's you're in [08:14] alpha waves. They're a different brain [08:16] wave. So I mean that's the scientific [08:18] explanation but the spiritual [08:19] explanation is that meditation enables [08:22] you to really grasp attain this higher [08:26] level of consciousness where you really [08:28] plug in to the spiritual dimension of [08:30] reality. Now I mean people think that [08:32] meditation is just something from [08:34] Hinduism and Buddhism Zen. It's not [08:37] true. Meditation was practiced in [08:40] Judaism [08:43] in biblical times. Rob Arya Kaplan wrote [08:46] a book called uh the Bible and [08:49] meditation or medit meditation in the [08:50] Bible and where he holds he he actually [08:52] proves that when it talks in in Na'vi it [08:56] actually talks in say for Shuel about [08:59] schools of prophets. Who are these [09:00] schools of prophets that Sha ran into [09:03] what what were they studying in these [09:04] schools of prophets? They were studying [09:06] meditation. They were learning the kind [09:08] of meditation that would make them [09:09] receptive to to Rua and to Nvoua. So [09:14] meditation is Jewish and I have to tell [09:16] you that I'm I'm going to be soon giving [09:18] a course on Kavanaaugh. Kavanaaugh is an [09:22] app for Jewish meditation. It has like [09:24] 25 or 30 from teachers who teach Jewish [09:27] meditation and and mindfulness. I'm [09:29] going to be one of them as soon as soon [09:30] as I can get around to recording the [09:33] course. But meditation is definitely has [09:37] like the Cavana app shows it's it is [09:41] Jewish and can be Jewish. But I didn't [09:43] know anything like that. Nobody nobody I [09:45] think in the Jewish world had any [09:47] inkling of that in 1968 when I was in [09:50] India. [09:51] >> Could you walk us through what you know [09:52] a typical meditation uh I I guess moment [09:56] that you had or would you back when you [09:59] were doing it? [10:00] >> A moment of meditation. Well, the idea [10:02] in meditation is to quiet your mind so [10:04] that you're actually receiving something [10:06] instead of the buzz of everything that's [10:07] going on around you in the physical [10:09] world. You're and and in your own mental [10:13] buzzing you're trying to quiet the mind [10:15] so you can receive. In India they say [10:17] it's like a lake. If a lake has ripples [10:20] then the reflection of the sun is all [10:22] ripply. But if the lake is quiet then [10:24] you have an accurate reflection of the [10:26] sun. So when you quiet the mind you have [10:28] you can actually perceive spiritual [10:30] reality. So the [10:33] the goal was to and it's very hard and [10:37] is and although I have meditated for the [10:40] last [10:42] well how many years is that you do the [10:43] math since 19 since 1968 [10:47] uh I've meditated of course I do Jewish [10:48] meditation now but [10:51] I was able only rarely to actually [10:54] attain that state where you really [10:57] perceive the oneness behind all reality. [11:01] But I'll I'll talk more about meditation [11:02] as we go on. But I want to tell you um [11:06] >> I was there for a year and I went to my [11:08] guru on by bicycle across Bonaris [11:11] wearing a sari every uh three times a [11:14] week. And then the day before I was [11:17] about to leave, I went to my guru to ask [11:20] him. I mean like I was going back to [11:22] America. I was going back to university. [11:24] There were decisions to be made in life. [11:26] And how would I know like how would I [11:29] know what to choose decisions? What [11:31] should I go to graduate school? What [11:32] graduate school should I go to? What [11:34] what what should I do with the rest of [11:35] my life? So I asked my guru when choices [11:38] come up in my life how will I know when [11:40] decisions come up how will I know what [11:41] to choose [11:44] and he said to me [11:46] follow the scriptures. I said what what [11:50] scriptures in a year he had never [11:52] mentioned the Hindu scriptures. India [11:54] has scriptures. the upanishads, the [11:56] Bhagavad Gita, you know, the vdas, [12:00] he had never mentioned them. And as far [12:01] as I was concerned, I didn't have any [12:03] scriptures. I the Torah [12:05] was like I went to show every single [12:07] Shabas. And on Shabas morning, we read [12:09] from the conservative synagogue. We read [12:11] the Herz uh humish, which was I think [12:15] translated by the chief rabbi of England [12:18] going back to the 50s or something. And [12:19] it was very boring, you know, boring, [12:21] boring, not wisdom for living. So I said [12:24] to him, I don't have any scriptures. [12:28] And he looked at me like I had said to [12:30] him, I don't have a gallbladder or I [12:33] don't have a spleen. Oh, you don't have [12:35] any scriptures? [12:36] So he looked at me with real compassion [12:39] and he said, you don't have any [12:40] scriptures? So you'll have to listen to [12:43] your inner voice. [12:45] But clearly inner voice was second best [12:47] to scriptures. And it took me many years [12:50] till I discovered [laughter] [12:52] the truth of that. He also said to me [12:54] that you're Jewish. Why don't you like [12:56] explore Jewish mysticism? Well, I had [12:58] never heard of Jewish mysticism. Kabala. [13:01] I mean, I went to Hebrew school two [13:02] nights a week until I was 18 years old. [13:04] We never learned anything about [13:05] Cababala. So, like I didn't know [13:07] anything. I came back to uh America. I [13:11] finished my degree, my psych degree at [13:12] Brandeise. I decided not to go to [13:15] graduate school. All I wanted was to [13:19] pursue a spiritual life full-time with [13:22] all my time and all my energy. But I [13:24] didn't know where to do that. So when I [13:26] came back to Brandeise after my year in [13:28] India, people told me, "Oh, you missed [13:30] this new rabbi that was at Brandeise the [13:32] year you were away." And this rabbi was, [13:35] I think at that time he was a [13:36] conservative rabbi. He eventually became [13:38] the head of the reconstructionist [13:40] movement. And uh he had been at [13:42] Brandeise. had a very very textbased [13:46] Judaism but very different from from uh [13:50] orthodox Judaism. So they said you [13:52] should really get in touch with him. [13:53] He's at Harvard this year and try to get [13:55] in touch with him. So I tried he was a [13:57] very busy man finally on the week before [14:00] I graduated Brandeise. We managed to get [14:04] in touch on the telephone and he said he [14:06] would meet me that night at midnight at [14:09] Harvard Square. [14:11] Okay, that that sounds exotic. Midnight [14:13] at Harvard Square. So, I went and I told [14:16] him, I'm looking for a place where I can [14:18] practice spiritual practices fulltime. [14:22] Now, this might seem strange to you. I [14:25] didn't know an Orthodox Jew. I did not I [14:28] knew thousands of Jews. I didn't know [14:30] Brandise at that time was 80% Jewish. I [14:33] was raised in a big Jewish community. I [14:36] didn't know a single Orthodox Jew. So, [14:40] the idea of spirituality full-time, [14:42] which as an Orthodox, we laugh at that. [14:44] That's what we do. We do spirituality [14:46] full-time. But this rabbi, this uh [14:50] conservative reconstructionist rabbi, he [14:52] didn't he didn't say that. He said, [14:55] "There's no Jewish place." I wanted a [14:57] Jewish place. I was very Jewish. He [14:58] said, "There's no Jewish place where you [15:00] can really practice spirituality [15:02] full-time, so you should." But there he [15:05] could recommend something else. Just the [15:07] previous Sunday he had been to an ashram [15:10] on the southshore of Boston. An ashram [15:13] is a Hindu spiritual retreat where [15:15] people practice uh meditation and like [15:19] different kinds of yoga. When I say [15:21] yoga, people think of hata yoga which is [15:23] doing exercises like stretching [15:25] exercises but yoga means to uh to unite. [15:30] So there's karma yoga which is trying to [15:33] go consciousness while you're working. [15:35] There's bakti yoga through devotion. [15:38] There's ghana yoga through uh [15:40] intellectual saying you know that this [15:42] is not real that is not real only god is [15:44] real. So uh he suggested that I go visit [15:47] this ashram. It had a genuine Indian [15:49] guru and it was about an hour south of [15:52] Boston halfway between Boston and Cape [15:54] Cod. It was on 21 acres of woods a mile [15:57] and a half from the ocean. Beautiful [15:58] place. He said well you should go visit [16:00] that. Maybe that will be what you're [16:02] looking for. So the day after I [16:04] graduated Brandeise, [16:08] I graduated on a Sunday. On Monday, I [16:10] had nothing really to do. The plan was [16:12] for me to give up my apartment and and [16:14] go back to my parents in the [16:16] Philadelphia area on Thursday. On [16:17] Monday, I thought I'll go visit Cape [16:19] Cod. And on the way, I'll stop at this [16:21] ashram. So I stopped at the ashram. And [16:24] uh it was a gorgeous place. It wasn't [16:27] just 21 acres of voids. It had like rock [16:30] formations, high rock formations and [16:32] like beautiful meditation places here [16:34] and there. It was really gorgeous and uh [16:38] and there was a genuine Indian guru, a [16:41] woman who who was called Maji and it was [16:44] great. And so I asked if I could stay [16:47] come there for the summer for two [16:49] months. [16:51] I ended up staying 15 years [16:54] as a monastic member. What does that [16:56] mean? In in Hinduism, Buddhism, [17:00] Christianity, all the religions except [17:01] Judaism, the highest spiritual path is [17:04] to renounce the world, celibacy, [17:07] renounce family, renounce money, [17:09] renounce material things. Of course, if [17:11] you have a family, you have to you have [17:13] to be involved in work and earn a [17:14] living, but no, no, renounce all that [17:16] and live a celibate life. And that was I [17:20] became a monastic member, meaning we [17:23] were celibate. There were both men and [17:26] women living separately on the ashram. [17:28] It was a small community and uh and I [17:32] stayed there for 15 years. I was in [17:34] charge of I was personal I became [17:35] personal secretary to the guru to maji. [17:38] I was in charge of the finances. I was [17:40] in charge of the ashram had money [17:42] because one of maji's disciples was [17:45] Chester Carlson who was the inventor of [17:47] zerography. And Chester Carlson was not [17:49] only an inventor, he was a a lawyer. So [17:52] he managed to uh to patent the the the [17:55] invention of zerography and he gave the [17:57] ashram a lot of xerox stock which so the [18:00] ashram had money and I was in charge of [18:02] the investments and uh I was in charge [18:04] of the book publication department. We [18:06] also had a big organic vegetable garden. [18:08] We had retreat cottages. People would [18:09] come for retreat and I lived there for [18:11] 15 years. [18:15] in November of [18:18] 1984. [18:20] I've been there 14 and a half years. [18:22] >> Hold on before you get to to you know I [18:24] guess you leaving there. But and what [18:26] you practice Hinduism you know all that [18:28] time and [18:29] >> we practice meditation three times a [18:31] day. We also practice we like we [18:35] celebrated the holidays. We celebrated [18:37] Hindu holidays, Christian holidays. We [18:40] believed we v it was called the Vanta [18:44] Center. Vidanta is [18:47] Indian philosophy extricated from [18:50] Hinduism the religion with the avodazara [18:53] in other words the philosophy when it [18:55] was brought to America in the early uh [18:58] 20th century they they weren't teaching [19:01] Hinduism they were teaching vanta [19:03] philosophy and that's what we taught [19:04] there I taught meditation I taught vanta [19:06] philosophy um vanta [19:10] holds that all religions are equally [19:13] valid paths up the mountain. It's like [19:15] there's a mountain at the top is God is [19:18] spiritual realization, [19:20] enlightenment and you can take any path [19:22] you want and they all path lead to the [19:24] same place. So we had we had a beautiful [19:27] temple of the universal spirit with [19:29] symbols of all the great religions [19:30] around the side and uh we celebrated the [19:33] you know all the holidays. I mean even I [19:36] said we okay we have to have I went home [19:38] from my the pesak seder but I when I [19:40] came back during polmo pesak I say we [19:43] have to have a pesak seder you know they [19:45] didn't know much about they did they [19:46] didn't know anything about Judaism I [19:48] introduced Judaism to the ashram but uh [19:51] it was a it was a philosoph it was a [19:53] god-centric philosophy Hinduism is very [19:56] different than Buddhism Buddhism is a [19:58] non is a non-theistic religion if you [20:00] can imagine such a thing the Buddha the [20:02] Gautama Buddha historical Buddha never [20:04] talked about God or the soul But [20:06] Hinduism very much is God- centered, [20:08] soul centered and the main thing I don't [20:11] know how much we want to get into this [20:13] but in India the the really the crux of [20:17] the spiritual practice is the guru [20:18] system. The guru system has been [20:21] operating in India for 2,500 years. [20:24] Gautama Buddha who lived 500 B.CE had a [20:27] had a guru. So why does what is the [20:30] system? The system says that the big [20:32] impediment to spiritual progress is ego [20:35] sense of eye. It's the like the lower [20:37] self and the only way to transcend the [20:40] ego is to have an external objective [20:42] authority that is the guru who tells you [20:45] what to do and by abdicating abdic [20:49] abdicating your own ego your own sense [20:52] of well I want to do this and I prefer [20:53] to do this and this makes sense to me [20:55] abdicating that whole way of looking at [20:58] life to what the guru says you end up [21:01] growing spiritually beyond your ego. So [21:04] our guru for called herself the ego [21:06] beater Maji. She was a woman. She was 64 [21:09] years old when I came to the ashram. She [21:10] called herself the ego beater. So it was [21:12] like somebody had a tendency toward [21:13] jealousy. She would purposely set up [21:16] members of the community to be jealous [21:17] of each other. So they would work on [21:19] their bad attribute of jealousy. She [21:22] used to say you have to put a fire under [21:24] the pot so that it boils up and then you [21:26] skim the impurities off the surface. So [21:29] she was always keeping things very [21:31] tumultuous. So, we would work on our uh [21:35] ego. [21:36] >> Fascinating. We are going to be right [21:37] back this week's episode, but first, [21:39] I've been working with BF Design for a [21:40] while now, and the more I learn about [21:42] these guys, the more impressed I am by [21:44] what they've actually built. Just look [21:45] at Lakewood. Over the last 20 years, [21:47] Lakewood has completely exploded. And BF [21:50] has been right in the middle of that [21:52] growth. Sholes, schools, offices, [21:54] stores, developments, gishas, custom [21:56] homes. Once you start looking, you [21:57] realize their work is everywhere. And [22:00] now they're doing the same thing in [22:01] other grown communities. Florida is [22:03] exploding right now, exploding [22:05] especially in Bokeh and BF Design has [22:07] dedicated team on the ground there. [22:08] They're building in Michigan. They're in [22:10] Baltimore, New York, and across the [22:12] country. It seems like wherever from [22:14] communities are growing, BF Design is [22:16] there. And I think there's a reason for [22:18] that. This understands our communities. [22:20] They know how a sh needs to function, [22:22] what a school actually needs, and what [22:24] families want in a home, and what [22:26] developers need to get a major project [22:28] done. They've worked on over 100 million [22:30] square feet and 94% of their projects [22:33] actually get built. I've gotten to know [22:35] this team and these people are the real [22:37] deal. If you're building something, [22:39] speak to BFE. Call 732-9611202 [22:44] or email info@bfdesignj.com. [22:47] Tell them Yako from Living sent you and [22:50] they will make your building, your [22:52] house, whatever it is you're doing as [22:54] simple and nice and gorgeous as [22:56] possible. For the first time in my 34 [22:58] years on this earth, I have consistently [23:00] given Saddaka every single day. [23:02] Literally every day. And right now, I'm [23:04] over a 70day streak. And the reason I've [23:06] actually been able to keep it going is [23:08] because of Cole Kabad's push gap. Yes, [23:10] I'm holding their physical pushka. And [23:12] you'll see behind me, it's now a staple [23:14] in the living home. As you could see, we [23:17] have actual physical pushkas, but also [23:19] all of you could have a pushka on your [23:21] phone. It takes seconds. I open the app, [23:23] give my seducka, that's it. There's [23:25] something really special about going to [23:26] sleep every night knowing that no matter [23:28] what else happened that day, I gave [23:30] something to help the neediest people in [23:32] Israel. And that money is helping real [23:33] families with food, shelter, and the [23:35] basic necessities they need to live with [23:37] dignity. And I love this streak because [23:38] in the best way possible, it makes [23:39] giving saddaka a breeze. You generally [23:42] don't want a miss a day. And as we head [23:43] into the yamarum, remember what we say, [23:46] chuva, tila, and saddaka. Rip up the bad [23:48] decrees. And here's your opportunity to [23:50] give saddaka every day. So if you're [23:52] ready to make giving Saddak a part of [23:54] your everyday for next year as a [23:56] download the Kabad Pushka app and join [23:58] me. Go to pushkapp.cc/inspo [24:01] course click the link in the show notes [24:02] and start your streak today because [24:04] giving saddaka is amazing. Now back to [24:06] this week's episode. So 1984 what what [24:09] led you away? [24:10] >> So so we invited speakers from different [24:13] religions to come and speak at the [24:14] temple of the universal spirit. We would [24:16] invite speakers of all religions to come [24:18] and speak at the temple of the universal [24:19] spirit. We would have Buddhist speakers, [24:21] Hindu speakers, Christian speakers. For [24:23] a Jewish speaker, we always invited a [24:25] Jewish renewal rabbi who wore uh uh [24:28] rainbow talis and he was our Jewish [24:31] speaker. But in November of 1984, we [24:34] invited an actual Orthodox rabbi to come [24:36] and speak at the ashram. We had there [24:38] was a Hindu, real Hindu, an Indian woman [24:40] who lived at the ashram, Shuma [24:42] Chakravarte. She was teaching assistant [24:44] to Ellie Weisel at Boston University. [24:47] And through Ellie Weiselle, she came to [24:49] know Rabbi Joseph Pollockch who was the [24:51] hill rabbi at Boston University. Now I [24:53] think Rabbi Pollock may have been the [24:55] only Orthodox Hill rabbi in America. I [24:59] mostly at Brandeise the Hill rabbi was [25:02] reformed, but Rabbi Pollock was a [25:04] genuine Orthodox rabbi. [25:07] Much later I found out that he was an [25:08] undercover kabadnik. Okay, but he [25:10] [laughter] was he was okay. That's what [25:11] who he was. And we invited him and he [25:13] said he would come to speak. And this [25:15] was 1984. For you, your young listeners [25:18] won't understand this at all. The way we [25:21] notified the people connected to our [25:23] community to come to the service is we [25:25] sent out postcards. [25:27] Like there was no internet. There was no [25:28] email. [25:30] There wasn't the kind of phone thing [25:31] where you could just, you know, like [25:33] have automatic dialing. No, we sent out [25:36] postcards that Rabbi Joseph Pollock [25:38] would be speaking at the Temple of the [25:40] Universal Spirit. 11 o'clock. He'd be [25:42] speaking on Judaism. [25:43] So I was secretary to the guru. I was [25:46] also secretary of the ashram. So on [25:48] Saturday night, the night before he was [25:49] supposed to speak on Moses Shabas, I [25:51] called Rabbi Pollock to make sure he [25:53] knew how to get to the ashram because we [25:55] were in the woods. And uh I wanted to [25:57] make sure he had good directions. [25:59] So Rabbi Pollock started to ask me [26:01] questions. He said, "Will there be a [26:04] cross in the room where I'll be [26:06] speaking?" And I said, "Of course. We [26:08] have symbols of all the great religions [26:09] around the size of the temple of the [26:10] universal spirit." And he said, 'I'm not [26:13] coming.' I said, 'What do you mean [26:14] you're not coming?' He said, 'I will not [26:16] speak in a room where there's a cross.' [26:18] He, in fact, was a child Holocaust [26:20] survivor. He said, 'I won't speak where [26:21] there's a room where there's a cross. Is [26:23] there any other room in the ashroom? I [26:25] said, well, of course there's there's a [26:26] community room, but there's no room in [26:28] the ashroom that doesn't have symbols of [26:29] all the world's great religions. He [26:30] said, I'm not coming. I said, you can't [26:33] cancel. There's no there's no way to let [26:36] people know that it's canled because [26:39] there was no internet. There was no [26:41] instant messaging. There was nothing [26:42] like that. I said, "You can't cancel at [26:44] the last minute like this. There's no [26:45] way to let people know." Said, "I won't [26:47] come and speak in a place where there's [26:48] a cross." So for five minutes, we [26:50] argued. I said, "It lacks integrity. You [26:52] said you would come. You have to come. [26:53] You said you would come. Don't you have [26:55] integrity?" And we argued for five [26:57] minutes. Finally, he said to me, "What's [27:00] your name?" And I gave him my Hindu [27:03] name, Sister Shadani. He said, "What's [27:06] your real name?" [27:08] I said, "Sarah Anne Leavinsky," he said, [27:12] "I'm coming." [27:14] And he came and he spoke in the temple [27:16] of the universal spirit with all the [27:18] symbols around there. He came because [27:23] because he knew that there was at least [27:24] one Jewish soul that he wanted to speak [27:26] to. Rabbi Pollock, I don't know if he's [27:29] going to watch this interview. maybe his [27:31] children will watch it or his [27:32] grandchildren will watch the interview. [27:34] But uh Paul was a great person who went [27:36] very far beyond his comfort zone for the [27:39] sake of one Jew. So he came and he spoke [27:44] about love of God even unto madness [27:47] quoting my monities. And I sat there [27:50] thinking what what does love of God have [27:52] to do with Judaism? [27:55] I mean, in my synagogue that I went to [27:57] every Friday night and every Shabas [27:58] morning, the word God was rarely spoken. [28:02] Rabbi talked about Israel and [28:03] anti-semitism and, you know, the [28:06] political things that were going [28:07] whatever. God was not spoken about at [28:09] all. And the words love of God, I can [28:13] assure you, never once were spoken in [28:15] our synagogue. And he was quoting my [28:17] monades. And I had studied mymonades in [28:20] Hebrew school, and I knew he was he [28:22] wasn't a fringe figure. He was accepted, [28:25] you know, central figure of Judaism. And [28:28] I sat there in absolute shock. [28:32] Love of God. Love of God even unto [28:34] madness. What does Judaism have to do [28:36] with love of God? Like it was an [28:39] absolute [28:41] I was just I was just in shock because I [28:45] thought I knew a lot about Judaism. Love [28:47] of God has nothing to do with Judaism. [28:50] Afterwards, Rabbi Pollock gave me little [28:53] piece of paper with his name and phone [28:55] number on it, and he invited me to come [28:56] for a Shabbat. [28:58] Well, of course, I was not going to go [29:00] to this Orthodox rabbi for a Shabbat [29:02] because I knew what he would try to do. [29:04] He would try to get me out of the [29:04] ashram. So, I put that little piece of [29:06] paper in a drawer like I wanted nothing [29:08] to do with it. [29:10] But 1984 was a bad year in the new age [29:13] world. [29:17] I was very much a part of the new age [29:19] world. Our Asha was very much a part of [29:20] the new age world. In 1984, [29:24] the middle of 1984, there was a uh big [29:27] scandal with Zenro Zen Roshi, the head [29:30] of the San Francisco Zen Center. The San [29:32] Francisco Zen Center was like the creme [29:34] de la creme of the new age world, like [29:36] the most brilliant people, the people [29:37] who meditated the longest with the [29:38] straightest backs, you know. And it [29:40] turned out that it was a scandal. He was [29:42] having an affair with one of his uh [29:43] married students. And then throughout [29:46] that year every two weeks there was [29:48] another scandal with another guru [29:50] another swami another Zen master and [29:52] these were people who were preaching [29:54] celibacy but they weren't living it. So [29:58] that was something that really shook me [30:01] the lack of truth shook me a lot. The [30:03] other thing that made me decide to go to [30:06] Rabbi Pollock for Shabbat was I had been [30:10] meditating for all these years and [30:12] everybody else in the ash had been [30:13] meditating for all these years and I [30:14] understood that spiritual attainment [30:17] meant two things. One to attain in [30:20] meditation a state of consciousness of [30:24] God consciousness enlightenment and the [30:26] other was to be a mench was to be a [30:30] better person by doing spiritual [30:33] practices getting beyond your ego you [30:34] should become a better person but I [30:36] didn't see that any of us in the [30:37] community were becoming better people [30:39] and that really uh made me like I for [30:41] example I had a volatile temper very [30:44] short-tempered person and uh that didn't [30:48] get better over the years. Even one [30:50] experience where I was there meditating [30:52] with the I was leading the community [30:53] meditation one day and uh [30:57] I had just one of the rare times I just [31:00] went my mind just went up and I was [31:02] there so and I was lost in that higher [31:04] consciousness so long that the other [31:07] people in the community left. It was [31:08] like too too long. And when I finally [31:11] came down [31:14] and uncrossed my legs and got up and [31:16] went out of the room where we meditated, [31:21] some a member of the community, she was [31:22] actually my best friend in the [31:23] community, came up to me. I was I was [31:26] the senior sister. I was in charge of [31:27] the schedule. She came up to ask me a [31:29] question about the cooking schedule. And [31:31] I barked at her. WHAT ARE YOU DOING [31:32] TALKING to me? Don't talk to me now. [31:35] This was like literally minutes after [31:37] I'd had this such a high meditation [31:39] experiencing the oneness of all reality. [31:42] But I got angry at somebody for asking [31:45] me a simple question. And I saw that [31:48] other people in the ashroom also didn't [31:50] seem to be getting any better. So one [31:51] day I pulled open the drawer, took out [31:54] Rabbi Pollock's uh phone number. I [31:57] called him. I dialed his number. I did [31:59] not dial. I dialed his number. This is [32:02] 1985 [32:04] uh February and I went to Rabbi Pollock [32:06] for a Shabbat and it was very nice. And [32:09] after Shabbat he told me he was doing a [32:12] malava maka [32:14] at a synagogue there in the Boston area. [32:16] It was Rabbi Nhemia Poland's synagogue [32:19] in Everett and he was having like a what [32:22] he called a spiritual series and Rabbi [32:24] Pollock was doing a mala moa. So I went [32:26] with Rabbi Pollock and uh he had his [32:28] guitar and he was singing you know [32:30] Kumzit songs [32:32] wonderful Ruach. It was really really [32:33] nice and I picked up a brochure for the [32:35] rest of the spiritual series that Rabbi [32:38] Poland was had put together for his [32:40] synagogue and uh an Orthodox synagogue [32:44] and I saw that the next thing on the [32:46] schedule was that Rabbi David Den was [32:49] going to be speaking on Judaism as a [32:50] yoga. So I thought wow I've got to go [32:53] hear that. So I went Rabbi David Den who [32:57] was hidic he was breastliff actually uh [33:01] from Burough Park from New York. He he [33:04] came there and he was and he talked [33:05] about Judaism as a yoga and he said the [33:08] words that changed my life. He said the [33:12] word hala and I knew what halaka was [33:14] because I went to Hebrew school till I [33:15] was 18 years old two nights a week. He [33:17] said the word I knew halaka meant Jewish [33:19] law. He said halaka comes from the root [33:22] word meaning to walk. [33:25] He said Judaism is a spiritual path. It [33:28] takes you somewhere. [33:32] What? Judaism is a spiritual path that [33:34] takes you somewhere. Again, I knew [33:35] thousands of Jews. I didn't know a [33:37] single Jew who regarded Judaism as a [33:39] spiritual path that takes you somewhere. [33:44] But if there if it was true, if Judaism [33:46] was a spiritual path that takes you [33:48] somewhere, I wanted to try it out. I had [33:51] written a book. It was a biography of [33:53] our guru's guru, a biography of Swami [33:55] Parammananda who came to America in [33:57] 1906, one of the pioneers of Eastern [33:59] teachings in America. And I'd written a [34:01] biography of him. And my guru was very [34:03] pleased with the book. And so she gave [34:05] me two months and $2,000 to go anywhere [34:07] in the world I wanted. Now, at the [34:11] ashram, when I first came to the ashram [34:12] in 1970, we used to get $10 a month [34:15] spending money. I mean, every all of our [34:17] expenses were taken care of. We didn't [34:18] need money, but okay, you wanted ice [34:20] cream, sometimes, toothbrush, [34:21] toothpaste, you know, by the time I [34:23] left, we were getting $20 a month. So, [34:26] she was giving me $2,000 [34:28] and two months went anywhere in the [34:30] world I wanted. So, I went, I followed [34:32] Rabbi David back to New York. And there, [34:36] Rabbi Pollock also told me to look up [34:37] another rabbi named Rabbi Mayor Fund. [34:41] I started going to Rabbi Mayor Fund's [34:43] classes. He was teaching Derk Hashem, [34:45] the Ramal uh on the upper west side. [34:49] I mean, Derk Hashem is like for a person [34:52] who's spiritually inclined, Derk Hashem [34:55] is like a gold mine in Judaism. I like [34:58] my my mind was blown. My mind was blown. [35:02] And Rabbi Fund after a little while said [35:05] to me, "If you really want to learn [35:07] Judaism, you have to go to Jerusalem and [35:10] I can get you a scholarship at a place [35:12] called Nushallay." I mean, I'm laughing [35:14] because uh Nushallay was and is a Kiru [35:20] uh institution where they teach women [35:23] who have little or no Jewish background. [35:24] They teach them Torah Judaism and try to [35:27] get them to become religious. So, of [35:29] course, they wanted people to come, but [35:30] uh you know, he said he could get me a [35:32] scholarship. So, I went to Jerusalem. [35:35] This was June 28th, 1985. [35:40] And uh on a two-month ticket. [35:43] The first night I was there, I met [35:48] the Rebi of Aminov, who became my Rebi, [35:51] and Rebes Heler, Rebes Sapora Heler, who [35:55] who became my mentor. The first night I [35:57] was there, I mean, hashem really just [35:59] like right in place [36:02] and I started learning at N. I'll talk [36:05] more about the rebove later, but I [36:07] started learning it at N. Rebison Heler [36:09] was like she was the most brilliant [36:11] person I had ever met. She was far more [36:12] brilliant than any of my professors in [36:14] university. I mean, she has a [36:16] photographic memory. She knows [36:17] everything and she's so spiritually deep [36:19] and she has a great sense of humor and [36:22] she had nine children. And I was like, [36:23] what? Nine ch How could somebody be so [36:25] brilliant? so intellectual and had nine [36:27] children. Eventually she had basham she [36:29] has 14 children ble on her. So uh she [36:32] was like the introduction of a whole new [36:34] world to me and I used to follow her [36:36] around from class to class in the bay. I [36:38] also went to the haka class and uh [36:43] and it was just like I couldn't believe [36:45] it. I couldn't believe what I was [36:47] learning Torah Judaism [36:49] like how did I not know this? How is [36:51] Judaism such a hidden religion? I wrote [36:54] an article for the yoga journal called I [36:56] mean I had a cover story in the yoga [36:58] journal just a few months before when my [37:00] book about rabbi about swallowing [37:03] paranda came out I had a cover story [37:04] there and now I wrote an article called [37:06] Judaism the world's most hidden religion [37:08] but the editor of the yoga journal was [37:10] Jewish and he wouldn't publish it so two [37:13] months after I had come to Jerusalem or [37:16] maybe less I met these people and this [37:19] one fellow was wanted to write a book a [37:22] spiritual guide to Israel and he asked [37:26] me to write about Sid Kanote holy women. [37:30] So I said, "Oh, that's a great job. I [37:32] would love to do that." And I started to [37:34] ask like, "Oh, where do I find them?" [37:35] [laughter] [37:37] And I was directed [37:39] by somebody named Ellie Shva Bakbam to [37:43] Rebbitson Haya Sar Kramer who lived in a [37:46] ramshackle Moshave in the Jordan, not [37:50] the Jordan Valley, the Jezrael Valley, [37:52] like north central Israel, [37:56] two long bus, two bus rides from [37:58] Jerusalem. And I was told that that [38:00] Rebson Hayasar Kramer was a Holocaust [38:03] survivor who had lost her entire family [38:04] in the Holocaust and came to Israel [38:07] Palestine. It was Palestine in 1946 and [38:09] had married Raby Yakov Mosha Kramer who [38:13] big rabbis like Rabbi Krysworth of [38:15] Belgium considered her husband Rabyakov [38:18] Mosha to be Alam Vadi. [38:21] The person who was telling me about her [38:22] said Rabbin Hayasar is also Alhamdi. [38:26] They never had any children. and she [38:27] spent the the uh prime of her life [38:30] taking care of seriously seriously [38:33] handicapped children who were like [38:34] dumped on her doorstep. And these in [38:37] that time we're talking now about the uh [38:39] 60s and 70s early 80s u when seriously [38:44] handicapped children were born to a [38:45] hered ai family. They didn't want to [38:48] keep the child in many cases because [38:50] they felt it was jeopardized the shoohim [38:52] of their other children but there was no [38:54] place there was no like hered uh [38:58] place for seriously handicapped children [39:01] at that time place that would have let's [39:02] say her cauterus so people would [39:05] literally come to the Kramers and like [39:08] give them their child and never be seen [39:10] or heard from again and revasura took [39:14] care of them and this was in the days [39:15] before disposable diapers [39:18] They didn't have They lived in absolute [39:19] poverty by choice. They didn't have a [39:23] hot water boiler. She would wake up in [39:24] the middle of the night and check every [39:26] child because she thought [39:29] Hashem would not be happy with her if a [39:31] Jewish child was like, you know, lying [39:33] there in the middle of the night in its [39:35] filth. You know, needed a diaper change. [39:37] But she had to heat up the water on the [39:38] stove or she didn't have any hot running [39:40] water. I mean, I wrote a book about her. [39:41] Holy woman Rebes Hayasar Kramer was like [39:44] the most amazing sedakus in in the [39:48] classical sense of the word. She could [39:49] do miracles. She could read minds. She [39:51] could she knew the future and in just [39:53] the way she was taking care of for 20 [39:55] years of taking care of these children [39:57] without a day off, without getting paid, [39:59] without a vacation. She was such a [40:01] sedus. But the thing that I want to tell [40:03] you because she was I met her barely two [40:06] months after I came to Israel. [40:11] She loved me. She just loved me. And [40:17] like this is the Judaism that I was [40:19] introduced to just this overwhelming [40:22] love. Now what? Why did she love me? I [40:24] had been I was barely two months showas. [40:27] I wasn't keep thinking how was I [40:29] dressing. I mean like I was trying to be [40:31] a good na student but she used to call [40:33] me a sadika. [40:35] [laughter] What you know like I'd spent [40:38] 15 years in an ashram. What was why was [40:40] she calling me a sadika? And she would [40:43] say to other people, she's a sadika [40:44] pointing to me. [laughter] Like I knew [40:46] she wasn't crazy. I knew she wasn't [40:49] delusional. So what was going on? What [40:52] was going on is that she was on such a [40:55] high level. She was a conduit for [40:58] Hashem's love and she just loved me. She [41:00] never in all the years I knew her, I [41:02] knew her closely for 20 years. I wrote a [41:04] book about her, Holy Woman, which became [41:05] a big bestseller. [41:08] In those 20 years, she never once [41:10] criticized me. She never once corrected [41:12] me. She never all she did was give me [41:14] love and she was always so happy to see [41:16] me. So this is the Judaism [41:19] that I was introduced to by Rebesheler [41:22] was the same. Reverson Heler now her [41:24] husband died. She remarried Rabbi De [41:26] Godly if she's Rabbit Heler got but I [41:28] knew her as Revisson Heler. Reverson [41:30] Heler taught in my house every week for [41:32] 26 years. And Rison Heler also was in [41:35] addition to being so brilliant and so [41:37] deep just did so much like I didn't have [41:39] time to do all the but she with 14 [41:41] children and two full-time jobs did like [41:44] the Judaism that I came to know and that [41:47] I wanted was a Judaism of love and joy [41:51] because Revit Hayasara was always happy [41:53] even though she had nothing to be happy [41:55] about. I mean she had lost her whole [41:56] family in Awitz. She had no children [41:58] they lived in poverty but she was always [42:00] smiling except when her picture was [42:02] being taken. This episode is about to [42:04] take an interesting turn. But first, I [42:06] just got back from Israel. And I'm [42:07] telling you, Primal Chris was a [42:08] lifesaver on the trip. Flights, running [42:10] around, interviews, weird hours where [42:12] you don't know where you're eating your [42:14] next meal. But I was covered because I [42:16] had Primal Crisp, a bag of these with [42:19] me. I actually had like seven of them. [42:20] And if you haven't tried meat chips yet, [42:22] they're exactly what they sound like. [42:23] Crispy, crunchy pieces of real meat. [42:25] It's not jerky. It's totally different. [42:27] It's like a potato chip texture. And [42:29] it's amazing. Is it a snack? Is it a [42:31] meal? I don't know. But I love it. So, [42:33] if you want to have this in your home or [42:35] when you're going or in your office, you [42:37] can use the promo code inspire for 15% [42:39] off your first order on primal [42:41] crisp.com. They have many flavors. They [42:44] have chicken, they have meat, they have [42:45] spicy, they have schwarma. They have it [42:47] all. And if you haven't tried it, go [42:49] into the new year trying something [42:51] really good and something really tasty. [42:53] I have to be honest with you. I'm I have [42:55] two bags. They're completely empty. [42:57] Okay, because I ate all of it. I this I [43:00] can't yeah I'm supposed to show it on [43:01] screen that I'm eating it but I'll I [43:02] have a clip from you know the other [43:04] night when I was eating it but right now [43:06] it's empty and I have to order more as [43:08] you should try it out. Go to primal [43:10] Chris.com use code word inspire 50% off [43:12] your first order. Now back to this [43:14] week's episode. So this was my spiritual [43:16] path and after two months I came for two [43:19] months and uh at that point it was close [43:23] to the hugging. I was supposed to go [43:24] back on August 26, [43:26] 1985, [43:28] but it was close to the Hagim. So, I [43:30] went to my Rebi, the Rebi Aminov, and [43:32] and he said, "You're you're here. Might [43:34] as well stay for the Khagim." [43:36] So, I'm not going to tell you the whole [43:38] story of what happened because we're [43:38] running we're going to run out of time, [43:40] but bottom line is I came on a two-month [43:43] ticket and and never left. [laughter] [43:47] And that's been what 40 uh this is 2026. [43:51] Then I came into 41 years. I mean I left [43:54] I went to America when my parents were [43:56] alive. I continued to uh I went to visit [43:58] them frequently. When I became a speaker [44:01] and author I would you know go to [44:03] America for lecture tours twice a year [44:05] but I never from that summer I never [44:07] lived anywhere else but Jerusalem. I [44:10] lived in the old city of Jerusalem for [44:11] 38 years. But I had a problem. [44:15] I was also in a musvad with Rob [44:17] Kellerman for 16 years. Rob Kelvin [44:20] started his first Muss in my living [44:21] room. [44:23] I I'm very spiritual. [44:26] So I would spend, you know, and and I [44:28] was I'm a writer, so I didn't have to [44:30] be, you know, like an office at a [44:32] certain time. So I'm telling you the [44:34] truth. I would spend an hour and a half [44:36] in the mornings and what I would call my [44:37] morning devotions. Over the years, I [44:39] would do hispodus, [44:42] sayumm, [44:43] davin shakras. I'd meditate on the [44:46] morning brahas. I mean, like, you know, [44:48] I'd spend an hour and a half. Couldn't [44:50] do it in less time than that. But I had [44:52] a problem. [44:54] When I finished my morning devotions, [44:57] life would start, right? Like I had a [44:59] family. There was cooking to be done. [45:01] There were emails. There was my work to [45:03] be done as a as a writer. I also had a [45:05] I've had for 14 years a webinar for [45:08] married Jewish women, the Jewish [45:10] workshops called the Kesher Wife [45:11] webinar. So, I had to prepare that [45:13] webinar every week. So my you know and I [45:15] get involved with all these things and [45:16] everything and the day would go by and [45:19] then at night I'd get into bed to say [45:22] shamalita [45:24] and it would be like oh there you are [45:27] hashem where have you been all day where [45:30] have you been all day like from the time [45:32] I ended my morning devotions all day [45:36] long. I mean, okay, maybe I would think [45:37] of Hashem when I was Ding Mah. Maybe I [45:39] would think of Hashem when I was doing [45:40] morning and excuse me, when I was doing [45:42] brahoot over food, but other than that [45:45] didn't think of Hashem. And then just [45:47] three years ago, three years ago, long [45:50] spiritual journey I've had. Three years [45:52] ago, I started listening to Rabbi Asher [45:56] Bargbrite, [45:58] who I knew from the old city. He was my [45:59] neighbor in the old city at one point. [46:01] King was teaching something called what [46:03] he called KLM kabana limit [46:06] about how in just ordinary actions that [46:10] we're doing anyway because we're all all [46:11] Jewish women are too busy we're all too [46:12] busy but just doing things you [46:14] ordinarily do like even drinking a glass [46:17] of water if you have the kavana that [46:19] you're doing a mitzvah of the Torah [46:21] because drinking a glass of water [46:23] hydrates you and therefore you know [46:25] you're doing the mitzvah of [46:27] there's a mitzvah of the dea to take [46:30] very good care of your health. So if you [46:32] have intention before you drink a glass [46:34] of water, you're holding a glass of [46:35] water just takes eight seconds to say, [46:38] "I'm doing the mitzvah of taking very [46:39] good care of my health as you commanded [46:40] me." Hashem, [46:43] you're doing a mitzvah, dear Isa, and [46:44] Hashem is with you. Rabbi Pin, Rabbi [46:47] Shamsha said, when you think of Hashem, [46:48] you're with Hashem. So this totally [46:51] transformed my life. And I end up [46:53] writing a book about it called uh 8 [46:55] seconds to connect with Hashem because [46:56] it only takes eight seconds to have that [46:58] come on. Women are so busy every day all [47:00] day long doing for our families, for [47:02] other people, our friends, everybody. If [47:05] we just have in mind we're doing a [47:06] mitzvah of [47:09] we're doing a mitzvah that connects us [47:11] to Hashem. So this is really the [47:13] culmination and it took me 40 almost 40 [47:16] years to get there here. This was really [47:18] the culmination of my spiritual life [47:20] that started in 1968 in India and ended [47:24] here in Jerusalem uh with this with [47:27] being able to bring Hashem into my day [47:29] or like I explained it in my book 8 [47:31] seconds to connect with Hashem. I called [47:33] the subtitle is mitzvah mindfulness for [47:35] women like how all like I have lists of [47:38] all the things we do every day that [47:40] could be a mitzvah just having the [47:41] consciousness. [47:43] So that that's my spiritual journey. [47:45] We're going to link all your books down [47:46] and we're going to go through them uh [47:48] after after I ask you this question. Uh [47:50] I know there's also a reincarnation [47:53] story. Um could you I mean I guess [47:56] that's apppropo for I guess your life [47:58] story. Could you give us a taste or you [48:01] know bits of that story because I'm [48:03] fascinated. [48:04] >> It's a very very important part of my [48:06] story. As I said I was born in you know [48:09] in Philadelphia area to parents who were [48:10] second generation Americans. I didn't [48:12] know a single Holocaust survivor. Nobody [48:14] in my family had perished in the [48:16] Holocaust. Nobody talked about I mean [48:18] remember I growing up in the 1950s [48:19] and60s. There were no Holocaust books. [48:21] There were no Holocaust movies. But I [48:23] from the time I was very young a child [48:26] was obsessed with the Holocaust. And I [48:29] couldn't understand why. It didn't make [48:30] any sense. I didn't know anybody. My [48:32] parents didn't talk about the Holocaust. [48:34] I didn't even know how I knew about it. [48:36] Um but I was obsessed with the [48:37] Holocaust. And also I had this [48:40] tremendous hatred of Germany and [48:41] everything German. I wouldn't buy a [48:42] German product. Like when my father at [48:45] some point my father loved photography. [48:47] At some point he bought a German camera. [48:48] I wouldn't let him take my picture with [48:49] it. [48:51] My mother didn't drive. So I was often [48:53] dependent on t taking rides with people. [48:55] I would not take a ride in a Volkswagen. [48:57] I was really adamantly hated everything [49:00] German. [49:02] So it was very strange when I was when I [49:05] started ninth grade started high school. [49:08] We had to pick a foreign language to [49:09] learn and our choices were French, [49:11] Spanish, German or Latin. All my friends [49:14] chose French or Spanish. I chose German [49:18] because I said, "You have to know your [49:20] enemy. I want to read Mine Kemp in the [49:22] original." I was just so obsessed with [49:23] the Holocaust. [49:25] Two, no, one week. One week, one week [49:28] into learning German. We had like two or [49:32] three classes that week in German. I had [49:35] a dream. [49:37] I was 14 years old. And in that dream, [49:40] everybody was, including me, was [49:42] speaking fluent German. [49:44] I woke up. I was like, "What?" [49:48] Nothing made any sense at all because I [49:50] didn't know anything about [49:51] reincarnation. [49:52] And so, nothing made sense. When I went [49:55] to I was in India 1968-69 [49:58] when it was t time to come back to [49:59] America, I had a panam round the world [50:02] ticket. Again, only people my age [50:04] remember panam. It was one of the major [50:06] airlines of the world. I had a panam [50:08] round the world ticket. So I decided to [50:10] come back. Uh I had friends who had [50:13] spent their junior year in Israel, [50:15] Stockholm, Paris and England. So I went [50:19] to the Air India office and I said this [50:20] is where I want to go. Okay. Went to I [50:22] want to go to Israel. Okay. We'll have [50:23] to route you through route you through [50:25] Istanbul. Fine. Then I want to go from [50:28] Israel to Stockholm. Okay. We'll have to [50:30] put to change planes in Frankfurt. No. [50:34] No. I will I will not go to in Germany. [50:36] No. No. I mean there's no way I could [50:38] explain this to this Indian woman who [50:40] was trying to help me with their India [50:41] in their India office in Kolkata. So no [50:45] I I will not go to Germany. She said [50:47] well okay I mean it's a good it's a good [50:49] good connection. No no Germany I will [50:52] not vow to myself I will never go to [50:54] Germany. Okay so we have a another [50:56] connection through Vienna. We can [50:59] through Austria but it's a seven-hour [51:01] layover. Fine. Fine. I mean I'm so [51:05] stupid. I didn't even think of the fact [51:06] that Hitler was born in Austria. You [51:08] know, Austria was as anti-Semitic and as [51:11] as Nazyprone as Germany, but like I [51:13] said, fine. So, I had a seven-hour [51:15] layover in Vienna and I decided to go [51:17] and see the see the city. What was I [51:19] going to do? Sit in the airport for [51:20] seven hours. So, I took a bus into the [51:22] city and I wanted to go to the like the [51:26] residential part of the city. I was like [51:28] a I had read a book anthrop an [51:30] anthropology book on like how to [51:32] understand different things of a culture [51:34] by recognizing different things. You see [51:36] their houses the you know the houses the [51:39] buses the pedestrians. So I took a bus [51:41] into some pedest some civilian part of [51:45] uh domestic you know domestic part of [51:48] Vienna. It was a part that was that [51:50] predated the World War II. And as I was [51:54] walking and trying to concentrate on [51:56] like what I knew from anthropology, I [51:58] started to get very nervous and tense, [52:00] especially every at every street corner. [52:04] I I didn't understand what like what's [52:06] going on? Why am I feeling so tense? And [52:08] then I suddenly heard [52:12] these this gang of blondhaired, [52:14] blue-eyed youths that were like chasing [52:16] me. They started chasing me and calling [52:18] at me, cat calls and curses, and I [52:20] started running. And you know it was a [52:22] cool day. I was like sweating and [52:25] running to get away from them and there [52:26] was I saw a bus coming and I sprinted to [52:29] get to the bus stop and I finally I got [52:31] on the bus the doors the doors closed [52:33] behind me and I look behind me and the [52:36] street was empty. It was what's called a [52:38] flashback. A flash a flashback differs [52:41] from a memory. A memory is something [52:42] inside your head. In a flashback you are [52:45] inside the memory. You hear the sounds. [52:47] You you relive it. It was a flashback [52:50] and I didn't understand [52:53] what happened. But when I came to the [52:55] ashram because I had no concept of [52:56] reincarnation but when I came to the [52:57] ashram of course reincarnation is a [53:00] basic concept in Hinduism. Souls are [53:03] recycled according to their karma [53:05] according to what they do comes back to [53:06] them like vita connected mida. And then [53:08] I started to understand and realize that [53:12] the reason I had a dream and fluent [53:14] German and the reason I had this [53:15] flashback in Austria and the reason I [53:16] was obsessed with the Holocaust is [53:18] because I was a reincarnated soul from [53:21] the Holocaust. [53:24] Now when I came into Judaism, I of [53:28] course didn't talk about this to anybody [53:30] because this is weird. But then I [53:32] started to talk. There was one friend I [53:35] started to I told you know that I think [53:37] I was in the Holocaust and I died in the [53:38] Holocaust and she said so was I and it [53:41] started like that when I would speak to [53:43] different people my friends who were all [53:46] Balichchuva you know Balichuva it turned [53:49] out that the Niva Shalom said that all [53:51] the Balu Balchuva of our generation are [53:55] Gilgoul from the Holocaust. [53:57] So so that explained a lot. I ended up [54:00] writing a book on the subject called [54:03] I've Been Here Before: When Souls of the [54:05] Holocaust Return. [54:07] So, [54:09] and I did research with hundred with 550 [54:12] people who had dreams and flashbacks and [54:15] phobias and experiences, people all born [54:17] after the Holocaust, all born after 1945 [54:20] and uh but who had real reason to [54:23] believe that they were souls from the [54:25] Holocaust. But anyway, the what the way [54:27] that it impacted me in my personal life [54:31] was that I had a fear of having children [54:34] because I identified children with [54:37] little vulnerable beings that die. If [54:40] you had a psychiatrist, a 40ian [54:42] psychiatrist had asked me to [54:43] preassociate the word children, I would [54:45] have said little vulnerable beings who [54:46] die. Now, did this have anything to do [54:49] with the fact that I spent 15 years as a [54:50] monastic member of the ashram committed [54:52] to not having children? I think it did. [54:55] But then when I came into Judaism, and I [54:57] tell this whole story in the last [54:59] chapter of my book, I've been here [55:00] before. [55:02] When I came into Judaism, it was clear [55:04] you have to get married and have [55:05] children. No. Okay. Well, I wanted to [55:07] get married. That sounded great. But [55:08] having children, so I tell the whole [55:11] story. I'm not going to go into it now. [55:13] Going to my rebby about it and going the [55:15] Reb and going to Raet Ginsburg, a great [55:18] cabalist about it. Okay. Anyway, I was [55:22] here for about a year and a half living [55:23] in Jerusalem, studying in NV going out [55:25] on Shuim. Nothing happened. By this [55:27] time, I was 38 and a half years old. Not [55:31] much pickings in terms of shooim. [55:34] And then one night, I had a dream. In [55:38] the dream, [55:40] I was in a house with other housemates [55:44] and people came to the door who they [55:47] came to take me on a journey across the [55:49] sea. and I wanted to go, but one of the [55:51] housemates said, "You can't go until you [55:53] do your chore. Finish your chore." What [55:55] was my chore? He said, "You have to go [55:57] down into the basement and bury the [55:59] corpses of a mother and her 10 children [56:02] in the basement." [56:04] So, I went down to the basement, took a [56:06] shovel, and I buried this mother and her [56:08] 10 children. Then, I came upstairs and [56:10] announced that now I'm ready to go on [56:12] the journey. [56:13] The dream ended. I sat up in my bed [56:16] alone in my room of course and I said [56:18] now I'm ready to get married [56:21] and about a month later I met my husband [56:25] my husband was a uh musician from [56:27] California who was only here for six [56:29] weeks the hagim and this was 1986 he was [56:32] here for the hagim in 1986 and uh with [56:35] no intention of of forming a any kind of [56:39] commitment but Rabbi David Aaron met him [56:42] he came went to a class of Rabbi Aaron [56:44] And uh and Rabaron met him and he [56:47] thought of me. Raaran knew me and he [56:49] tried to set us up. But this musician, [56:52] 39-year-old musician from California [56:54] named Laid Yakov Wriggler, also a [56:56] Valtuba. He was, you know, he was not [56:59] interested in meeting somebody in Israel [57:00] because what's the point? He lived in [57:01] LA. And Rabbi Aaron finally kept calling [57:04] him and calling him. Blessed be Rabbi [57:06] Aaron. May he be blessed. And finally he [57:09] called him one night and he said, "What [57:11] are you doing tomorrow night?" and he [57:13] said nothing. He said, "So why don't you [57:15] just meet her? What have you got to [57:16] lose?" So eight [57:18] nights before he was about to leave had [57:20] his ticket to leave Israel, we met at [57:22] the Plaza Hotel. He extended his ticket [57:25] by five days and we were engaged at we [57:27] we were engaged on on the 11th day. So [57:31] we were engaged in 11 days and married [57:33] in two months. Of course, he came here [57:35] to live. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't leave [57:36] Israel and my Rebia told me not to leave [57:39] Israel. [57:39] >> My favorite part of this episode is [57:41] coming up. But first, I'll tell you what [57:43] I like about whales. You can call them [57:44] with almost anything. Well, not [57:47] anything. You can't call them say like I [57:48] need therapy. They won't help you with [57:49] that. But if you need a Sienna or you [57:51] need a Suburban or you want a Subaru, I [57:53] don't know. I won't judge you. They'll [57:55] find it. If you need a commercial van [57:56] for your business, they do that, too. [57:58] They've been around since 1989. So, [58:00] they're not learning the business on [58:01] your deal. They know the market. They [58:03] know where the cars are. And they know [58:04] how to get things done. And what matters [58:07] most, they get you the best deals and [58:08] the best prices in the easiest manner. [58:11] So, if you're looking to lease a car, [58:12] buy a car, anything to do with a car, [58:15] they are there. Cold Wheels to Lease, [58:16] they are the top of the top and for good [58:19] reason. They work with basically every [58:21] major brand and they do new leases, used [58:23] cars, commercial vehicles, all of it. [58:25] I've used them myself and I've sent [58:26] people there, which is really why I'm [58:28] comfortable talking about them. If [58:29] you're getting a car anyway, just make [58:31] the call. Call 718871-8715. [58:34] Send them an email, inspirewheels.com. [58:37] They're simple, they're honest, and they [58:38] get it done right. And maybe you want to [58:40] go and send them a WhatsApp. Well, the [58:42] link down below, you can send Saul a [58:43] direct WhatsApp to his phone. Lastly, a [58:46] safer Torah carries more than words. It [58:48] carries a story, a legacy, a life. On [58:50] October 7th, we lost far too many [58:52] precious lives in the horrific massacre. [58:55] They attacked us on Shabas and Yontiff, [58:57] targeting our people, our faith, and our [58:59] connection to Hashem. So now, we respond [59:01] by strengthening exactly what they tried [59:03] to take from us. Daily 613 is bringing [59:06] the community together to write cphright [59:07] terra in memory of the victims, honoring [59:09] the lives they lived and the legacy they [59:11] left behind. Over $36,000 has already [59:14] been raised and every $101,000 raised [59:17] completes another safety and each [59:19] completed Torah will be welcomed with [59:21] its own celebration bringing the [59:23] community together in their memory. [59:25] Every letter written is an act of [59:26] remembrance and every time that Torah is [59:28] opened and read, their memories continue [59:30] to live on. Follow daily 613 for updates [59:33] on the writing, fundraising totals [59:35] completed safe and upcoming [59:37] celebrations. Help us write, help us [59:39] dedicate, and help us remember the [59:41] heroes who have fallen. Follow the [59:42] journey and take part in the link down [59:44] below and open your hearts. This is the [59:46] time of year to remind Hashem that we [59:49] love all our brothers and sisters and of [59:51] course to dedicate ourselves to Tyra and [59:53] we'll open these Tyras and remember all [59:55] the fallen heroes. Now, back to this [59:57] week's episode. So he came here and 14 [60:00] months after we got married, we had a [60:02] baby named who we named Pia. Plea [60:06] Esther. Pia meaning wonder of God. And [60:08] then the problem started. Six months [60:11] after Pia was born, I got pregnant with [60:13] an ectopic pregnancy and I almost died [60:16] and it made a lot of a lot of scar [60:19] tissue. I lost one fallopian tube and [60:22] then I wanted very much to have another [60:24] child because I loved having this baby. [60:26] It's like I kept saying, "Why didn't [60:27] anybody tell me it's so wonderful to [60:28] have a baby?" I loved having this baby [60:30] and was into nursing and taking care of [60:32] the baby. I didn't work. My husband was [60:36] a musician. He he as as Rabbi Aaron said [60:39] when I said, you know, is he willing [60:41] when he was trying to set us up, I said, [60:42] "Well, is he willing to live in Israel?" [60:43] Rabbi Aaron said, "He's a musician. He [60:45] can live anywhere." Which was true. So, [60:48] uh, then started five and a half years [60:50] of trying to have a second baby. And I [60:53] mean, we did everything spiritually. We [60:55] went to every chev of every sodic and [60:58] and we did everything medically. We I [61:00] was doing all I was having shots and [61:03] blood tests and everything to have [61:04] another baby. And then a I was in a [61:08] support group for women suffering from [61:10] from secondary infertility. [61:13] And a psychologist was a guest speaker [61:15] one time and she said sometimes the [61:16] block to having another second child is [61:19] not physical but it's psychological. You [61:22] should think about it. she said to all [61:24] of us. So I didn't like hearing that and [61:26] I went home and I knew that my block was [61:28] I was afraid of having children because [61:30] I had lost children in the Holocaust and [61:32] I was afraid of having another child. I [61:34] don't know how Hashem blessed me the 14 [61:36] months after I got married he gave me [61:38] this first child with no fear but now [61:40] all my fears were back there inside [61:43] [clears throat] of me subconsciously and [61:45] not so subconsciously. I had fears of [61:47] having another another child because [61:49] babies and children can die. [61:53] The [clears throat] umption of a rebi my [61:54] rebby guided us through this whole five [61:58] and a half year process. He told what to [62:00] do what not do. At one point I wanted to [62:03] give up. I'd had enough blood test and [62:04] shots every other night. Da d d d d d d [62:06] d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d [62:06] d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d and he No, [62:07] he wouldn't let me give up. [62:09] Finally. Okay, I was going to do IVF one [62:12] more time. We had money in those days. I [62:15] mean IVF was very expensive. In Israel [62:17] in those days they covered IVF treatment [62:20] even for a second child for women up to [62:23] the age of 40. But I started my whole [62:26] process at 41 wanting to have another [62:28] child. So [62:30] because I got married almost 39. I had [62:32] my first child at 40. So I was 41 when I [62:34] was trying to have this process. Every [62:36] time as I got older the Israel started [62:39] Israel socialized medicine. They kept [62:41] lifting the top age in which they would [62:43] cover IVF. But it was always one or two [62:46] years below where I what I was. So we [62:47] had to pay for IVF. My parents had died [62:50] uh in 1990. My father died in 1991. My [62:54] mother died. I had a small inheritance. [62:55] We decided to use it for IVF. So [62:59] we got two tries for the price of one. [63:02] The first try failed. And I wanted to [63:05] just give up. The rebal [63:10] IVF. It's very intensely. I'm not going [63:12] into it. In order to do IVF, they you [63:17] have to take these um fertility drugs, [63:20] very strong fertility drugs. So you get [63:22] a lot of follicles in the ovary that [63:24] make that make eggs. I had only one good [63:27] ovary at that point. So because of my [63:30] topic pregnancy, so the idea was to get [63:32] as many follicles that would turn into [63:34] eggs so they could extract those eggs [63:36] and then they fertilize them and put [63:38] them back in you and hope hope for the [63:39] best. So they will only do it with a [63:42] minimum of three eggs. So I went doing [63:46] the process the day be I did had to do [63:50] the uh ultrasound. I went in to do the [63:52] ultrasound as I had many many times [63:54] before like the day before I was [63:56] supposed to be ovulating. And uh the [63:59] regular doctor that did the IVF [64:01] treatments wasn't there. He was a very [64:03] business-like guy. He wasn't there. It [64:05] was another guy, another doctor, another [64:07] radiologist instead. and he was very [64:10] warm and smiley beautifully. He spent a [64:13] long time doing the doing the ultrasound [64:16] and finally he said to me, "I'm so sorry [64:18] to tell you, you only have two eggs. [64:20] They won't do IVF with less than for [64:22] less than three eggs." [64:25] And it was like, "This is how it ends. [64:27] Everything I've done, this is my last [64:29] try, the last try I can afford, and [64:31] they're not going to do it because I [64:33] only have two eggs." And I cried and I [64:35] begged him fudge the report and say I [64:38] have three eggs [64:40] and he agreed. [64:42] Hashem sent him. I mean this was the [64:44] hand of Hashem was so obvious. Sent him [64:47] because the other herologist would not [64:48] have fudged the report. Okay. So he said [64:50] I had three eggs. I went in the next day [64:52] to do the extraction. You go into the [64:54] operating room. They give you an [64:55] epidural. [64:57] There was only one egg. [64:59] It was a joke. It was like ridiculous. [65:01] Nobody gets pregnant with with one egg. [65:03] Good idea. Never happened. But okay, [65:06] what was she going to do? I was already [65:07] on the operating table. She took out the [65:08] one egg. She my doctor was a woman and [65:11] uh she took out the one egg and sent me [65:14] home. So, okay, well, we'll fertilize [65:15] the egg. We'll see if it fertilizes and [65:17] if it does, we'll try to put it back in. [65:18] But obviously, she thought this is like [65:20] such a waste of time. This doesn't [65:21] happen. Nobody gets pregnant with one [65:22] egg. I went home [65:28] and walked into my kitchen and there was [65:31] a message on my answering machine [65:35] from my college roommate Paula. Paula [65:38] and I we were roommates in college and [65:40] we had remained close friends through [65:42] all the years. The year that uh that my [65:46] daughter Pa was born. Paula came with [65:49] her family. They were here. She had [65:50] three sons. Howard, Ira, and Avi. And [65:55] she and her family came and joined us [65:56] for the Pesak Seder the year the plea [65:58] was born. We were very close. I pressed [66:00] the button on my answering machine, and [66:02] I heard Paula's voice crying. Sarah, [66:06] call me. Call me. Call me. Hysterical. [66:13] What was going on? I was trembling. What [66:14] was going on? I called her. [66:17] her middle son Ira was 12 and a half [66:21] years old. [66:23] He was in a wilderness camp in Utah. [66:26] They sent him to this wilderness camp. [66:29] He was sitting on a tree [66:33] route holding a frying pan and it's some [66:36] short some distance away there was a [66:38] thunderstorm with lightning and he was [66:40] struck by lightning and killed. [66:46] Here I was. I I wanted a baby. Did I [66:49] want a baby? All I wanted at that point [66:51] was to go to Paula. I had to go to her. [66:54] So I called the rebby and said, "I can't [66:55] go through with the IVF pro procedure [66:58] because I have to go to my friend Paula. [67:01] Her son has just been killed. It's like [67:02] she's hysterical." The rebby said, I [67:05] said, "I want to freeze the egg. If the [67:07] if the egg fertilizes, freeze it and I'm [67:10] going to PaloAlto to be with her." My [67:12] friend Paula was an oncologist in [67:13] PaloAlto. [67:16] So the Rebi said, "Please ask your [67:18] doctor, do you have less chance of [67:20] succeeding if the egg is frozen?" [67:23] This is ridiculous. There's no chance of [67:25] succeeding anyway. So I But I called the [67:27] doctor. I did what the Rebby said. I [67:28] always did what the Rebby said. And I [67:29] said, "You know, is there less chance of [67:31] succeeding if the egg is frozen?" She [67:32] said, "Yes." So I called the Rebby back [67:34] and I said, "Yes, there's less chance of [67:36] succeeding if the egg is frozen." The [67:38] rebby said, "Do not go to PaloAlto now. [67:41] Stay. go on with the procedure and later [67:44] you can go and visit your friend in [67:45] PaloAlto. [67:48] I thought this is ridiculous. There's no [67:51] chance of succeeding. Nobody has ever [67:53] gotten pregnant with one egg. This was [67:56] this was u 19 [68:00] 93. At that point, [68:02] nobody had ever gotten pregnant with one [68:04] egg. Okay. But the rebby said, so I did [68:06] what the rebby said. And I went back. [68:08] They put the egg fertilized. They put it [68:10] back in me. [68:12] And that there was two weeks until you [68:13] know whether they talk whether you're [68:15] pregnant. And during those two weeks, [68:19] one day I was sitting there in my room [68:21] and I felt like all my fears came up to [68:25] the the conscious level. I want a baby. [68:29] I want I want a baby. [68:31] Children die. [68:34] I want another child. Ira died. I want [68:38] another child. Children die. Are you [68:41] really willing to take this risk? [68:44] And I had this internal battle with my [68:47] fears. They were very old fears because [68:49] they came from previous lifetime. [68:52] And I had this internal battle. [68:56] And finally I I made a vow to Hashem. [69:01] I said to Hashem, [69:03] "If you give me a son," [69:08] and he lives to be 12 years old like Ira [69:12] lived to be 12. [69:14] 12 years of talking and walking and [69:17] thinking and seeing and hearing [69:20] just 12 years and if you take him [69:25] then [69:27] I will say the brahamed [69:30] I knew then the in the Gomorrah there's [69:33] there's [69:36] there's a conversation among [69:38] what braha to say since everything from [69:41] hashem is good what braha do you say [69:42] when an immediate relative dies and uh [69:45] and they said to of course everything is [69:48] good but since people who've lost a new [69:50] relative relative can't see it they [69:52] should just say brook dynamis [69:55] with the shame hashem but I said to [69:58] hashem that if he gives me a baby he [70:00] lives for 12 years [70:02] I will be so grateful and happy to have [70:06] that baby even for 12 years that then if [70:09] he takes him I will say [70:12] and that was my vow to hashem [70:14] And nine months later, my son was born. [70:16] My son Israel ran, whose name means [70:20] Israel rejoices. And he's now uh 32 [70:23] years old, 6'6. And uh and Barashem. [70:31] >> Wow. That is uh very powerful. And um [70:35] I'm sure after uh you were able to [70:37] connect with your friend in Palto. [70:39] >> Yes. I although I by that time you know [70:41] once I was was pregnant then I was not [70:43] going to get on a plane and I was like [70:44] taking it very easy. I didn't go I [70:46] didn't see her for a very long time but [70:48] uh [70:50] but but [70:52] the the Hashem made me see I mean look I [70:55] had been working on myself for all these [70:56] years. I had been in Jerusalem in the [70:58] old city of Jerusalem in a musurvad [71:00] learning with rebis and heler learning [71:02] from rebasar Kramer learning to look at [71:05] the positive in my musad we learned if [71:08] you say the braha in the morning brahas [71:09] if you say shaliar [71:12] say you've given me everything I need [71:14] then how can you say later in the day oh [71:16] there's something I need I don't have [71:18] right so I had really worked on it I had [71:20] worked on the on the on the mida of [71:23] simka with I got a diagnosis of uh [71:25] cancer breast cancer [71:27] about [71:29] let's see maybe I know it was 25 years [71:31] it was zero it was maybe 10 years after [71:34] that and and Rob Kellerman we were just [71:37] in the uh starting to work on a new meda [71:40] we had to decide between we're going [71:41] working on the media of MS or working on [71:43] the meet of SIMA we we were going to [71:46] decide at the next meeting and I got [71:47] this diagnosis of breast cancer and I [71:49] called Rabbi Kellerman and I said I need [71:51] to work on Simkha and my life may depend [71:53] on it because I had read the book life [71:56] of medicine and miracles about how your [71:59] mind states affect very much how cancer [72:02] develops. So a positive mind state simka [72:04] is very a good antidote for cancer or [72:07] depression makes the results worse. So [72:09] um I believed it and I called Rav [72:11] Kellerman. I said I need to work on SIMA [72:13] because because my life may depend on [72:15] it. And uh on the way to the hospital [72:18] for my surgery we stopped at the [72:20] Kellerman's house. Rav Kellerman and his [72:21] wife came out. We were on the pavement [72:23] there and they live in Harno in [72:24] Jerusalem. there on the pavement on our [72:26] way to the hospital. My husband and I [72:28] got out of our car and my husband and [72:29] Rabbi Rabbi Kell were dancing and [72:32] singing on the street simha. So, you [72:36] know, so this was something I I had [72:40] worked on and I would continue to work [72:42] on [72:44] >> something that I think you're uh very [72:46] known for. I know you speak in lectures [72:48] and webinars, but um is your writing. Uh [72:51] so I know there's not much time left and [72:53] I know you have some books with you. So, [72:55] could you give us, you know, a 10-15 [72:56] second pitch for some of your books? And [72:58] I know we we mentioned it before, but [73:00] would love to uh briefly talk about your [73:02] latest book. And of course, we're going [73:03] to link it down below for everyone. [73:05] >> So, this is Holy Woman, the book I wrote [73:07] about Revson Hiasar Kramer. And um the [73:11] reason this book became such an [73:13] immediate huge bestseller was because [73:15] it's not just a book about somebody who [73:18] became, you know, a great sedakus. It's [73:20] a book about how how every one of us can [73:23] work on ourselves to also become not to [73:26] become represent highest heartcrime but [73:28] to become our own best self. So [73:29] throughout the book I have these little [73:30] uh fork in the road signs where I stop [73:34] the narrative and I talk about how you [73:36] every reader can work on that same thing [73:38] represent highar faced choice how you [73:42] can also we all face a similar choice. [73:45] We have different in different ways but [73:46] how we can all become a sedakus because [73:49] Rabbit Hasar called me a sadakus meaning [73:51] we all have the potential and then this [73:53] is the book about reincarn Holocaust [73:55] reincarnation it's called I've been here [73:57] before and the thing about this book is [74:00] so many it's a book for Jews it's about [74:03] gilim and uh it's called even when souls [74:06] of the holocaust return so many people [74:09] when they read the book said I thought I [74:12] was the only one so many people born [74:14] after 1945 [74:16] are reincarnated souls of the Holocaust [74:18] and they uh didn't realize that they're [74:21] part of a very big group of people and [74:24] this is my new one. It's called 8 [74:26] seconds to connect with Hashem [74:28] mindfulness for women with Rabbi Asha [74:30] Barkbrite. It was published by a dear [74:31] press and uh and it's for women to re to [74:35] realize that all it takes is eight [74:37] seconds of mindfulness and you can turn, [74:41] you know, you're shopping in the [74:42] supermarket, you're taking your [74:43] husband's suit to the dry cleaner, [74:45] you're doing the laundry, you're calling [74:47] your mother, you're you're doing [74:48] something, you're helping a co-orker at [74:50] work, you're eating a healthy meal, [74:52] you're drinking a glass of water, you're [74:53] exercising, [laughter] [74:54] you're going to pilate, you're taking a [74:56] nap, you're going to sleep one time, [74:57] which is the hardest mitzvah. All of [74:59] them are mitzvah of the Torah if you [75:01] only have the mindfulness that you're [75:04] doing a mitzvah of the [75:07] lamented that in his time people would [75:09] pay the carriage driver at the end of a [75:11] ride. Of course they're honest people. [75:12] Of course they're going to pay the [75:13] carriage driver and they'd completely [75:16] lose the mitzvah of paying the worker on [75:19] time which they could have gotten the [75:21] mitzvah connected to Hashem if they just [75:22] had the mindfulness the kavana that [75:25] they're doing the mitzvah paying the [75:26] worker on time. That's so he that's why [75:28] he wrote at the end of his life he was [75:30] already in his 90s he wrote his last [75:32] book on the concise book of of mitzvah [75:35] of all the mitzvah that are relevant [75:36] apply an hour a day after when there's [75:38] no temple so uh [75:42] because what a shame what a shame to be [75:44] do all day long to be doing things that [75:47] could connect you with Hashem and to [75:49] lose it because you just don't have [75:51] eight because you didn't read the book [75:53] and didn't know you can uh [laughter] [75:55] you could by eight seconds of [75:56] mindfulness this you can uh be [75:58] connecting with Hashem and and [76:00] connecting with Hashem because this is [76:01] I'll end with this the Rambon you know [76:04] the mitzvah of connect of deus [76:08] means bonding with hashem bonding with [76:10] hashem is a mitzvah that is repeated [76:14] five times in the Torah so rashi [76:16] famously says you can no more bond with [76:18] hashem than you can bond with a [76:20] consuming fire so therefore the best you [76:23] can do is to bond with [76:25] which is not so which not possible for [76:27] women. We can't hang out with rabbis and [76:31] but the Ramban Nakmanades said in his [76:35] commentary on paras he said one of these [76:39] places where were commanded in the [76:40] mitzvah of devus he said perhaps devus [76:44] means to keep hashem and your love for [76:46] him in mind constantly to not let your [76:50] thoughts depart from him. Wow. So that [76:54] like opens up a whole new possibility [76:56] for women, you know, to all day long [77:00] keep Hashem and your love for him in [77:02] mind constantly that your thoughts [77:04] should not depart from him. It only [77:05] takes eight seconds each time. [77:08] >> Reson, thank you so much for sharing [77:10] your story. And I know this is all just [77:12] a glimpse of it. We will link your [77:14] website uh sarriggler.com. [77:17] And uh I'm going to end off with a [77:19] teaser. Um, one of the people you wrote [77:22] a book about, not them themselves, but [77:24] someone very connected to them, we're [77:26] actually coming out with an episode in [77:27] the next uh, month or so. So, uh, no [77:29] spoilers. [77:30] >> Who's Who is that? [77:32] >> I'm going to tell you offline because I [77:33] I want to keep it a surprise for [77:34] everyone else, but uh, for you. Thank [77:36] you so much for taking the time to do [77:37] this. [77:37] >> Can I get one more teaser? [77:39] >> Sure. [77:39] >> This book is now on sale at Amazon for [77:42] $10 off. I don't know if it'll still be [77:44] on if that sale will still be on when [77:46] this interview gets posted, but Amazon [77:49] is offering $10 off on this book now. [77:52] >> We will link we will link that as well. [77:53] Reison Wiggler, thank you so much for [77:55] doing this. Thank you. [77:56] >> You're very welcome. [77:57] >> 15 years in an astrom, 15 years of [77:59] meditating, searching, going deeper, and [78:01] it turns out everything she was looking [78:02] for was waiting for her back home the [78:05] entire time. I think what stayed with me [78:07] most is how honest she is about it. She [78:09] doesn't trash those 15 years. She'll [78:11] tell you what she learned there and [78:13] she'll also tell you what was missing [78:14] and why one real conversation about [78:16] Hashem did what 15 [music] years of [78:18] Eastern spirituality couldn't. And if [78:20] you're searching for something, maybe [78:22] start by looking at what's already [78:23] yours. If you made it all the way [78:25] through, comment the word home below and [78:28] leave a note about one thing you learned [78:29] from this conversation. I will be [78:31] reading every comment and so will [78:32] Rebbitson Wriggler. Of course, we link [78:34] down below [music] a link to her website [78:36] so you can check out all her books and [78:37] all her sharim and everything she does. [78:39] It's really incredible. Thanks again to [78:40] my friends at BF Design, Kabad, Primal [78:43] Crisp, Whale Ciss, and Daily 613. And [78:47] remember folks, inspiration is [78:49] everywhere. [music] [78:52] Living
