Transcript [00:00] And one day, I received a text message. [00:02] She was 13 and she just sent me a text [00:06] message, "Please, Mom, can I change [00:07] school?" [00:09] without any excuses, without any [00:12] explanation. [00:20] >> [music] [00:24] >> Hello and welcome to Hadassah on call, [00:27] new frontiers in [music] medicine. I'm [00:30] your host, Myron Hoffman. The world has [00:32] become a much scarier [music] place for [00:35] so many people. When I was growing up, I [00:38] barely understood the concept of war, [00:40] let alone live through one. I was a [00:43] Jewish [music] girl in Kansas, where [00:44] there were not that many Jews, and I [00:46] never once experienced antisemitism or [00:49] felt targeted because of my religion. [00:51] Today, the reality [00:53] >> [music] [00:53] >> is very different. My own five children [00:57] have grown up running to bomb shelters. [00:59] On October [music] 7th and throughout [01:01] the more than two years that followed, [01:03] they watched me head into the field to [01:05] cover the news and witnessed the horrors [01:07] firsthand. In the United States, where [01:10] much of my family still lives, and where [01:12] my nieces and nephews go to school, the [01:15] rise in antisemitism has hit close to [01:17] home. In Boston, where one of my [01:20] brothers lives, earlier this year, there [01:22] was more than one antisemitic incident [01:25] in a single week. And my partner is from [01:27] Australia, the country that has seen one [01:30] of the world's sharpest rises in violent [01:32] antisemitism. [01:34] Our children are carrying burdens that [01:36] many of us never imagined they would [01:38] face, and many parents, teachers, and [01:40] caregivers are left wondering how to [01:43] have these difficult conversations. [01:45] Today, we're joined by Dr. Shiri Ben [01:48] David, head psychologist at Hadassah [01:50] Medical Organization, and Karen Azulay [01:54] from Hadassah International, who helped [01:56] spearhead the creation of two remarkable [01:58] guides designed to help parents and [02:00] caregivers navigate conversations about [02:03] war, anti-Semitism, violence, and [02:06] uncertainty with children of all ages. [02:10] Welcome Dr. Ben-David and Karen to [02:12] Hadassah On Call. So Karen, the guides [02:15] that were put together after October [02:17] 7th, the war, and of course amid the [02:18] rising anti-Semitism, [02:20] but I want you to speak a little bit [02:22] about what you are experiencing in your [02:25] community. Why did children in 2026 need [02:29] these kind of guides? [02:30] >> Actually, I was uh I I I grew up in [02:34] Paris, and I was I am living in Geneva, [02:37] and I never thought that in Geneva we [02:39] were feeling anything about [02:41] anti-Semitism. [02:42] And when October 7th began, um [02:46] I just brought my daughter to a Jewish [02:48] school in case, and I said, "You have [02:51] the choice. If something happen, you can [02:53] just ask for it, and I will change you." [02:56] And [02:57] uh I came in Hadassah in January 2024, [03:02] and when I came back, she was just like [03:05] coming back from school. She was in the [03:06] public school, and when she came back, [03:08] she was just like sad, but she didn't [03:10] talk about anything, and it was really [03:12] rude to talk with her because she don't [03:14] want to just like um [03:18] um [03:20] she don't want to me upset, or she don't [03:22] want to me just like thinking bad things [03:24] about her school. [03:26] And one day I received a text message. [03:28] She was 13, and she just sent me a text [03:32] message, "Please, Mom, can I change [03:34] school?" [03:36] without any excuses, without any [03:39] explanation, and I trust her because we [03:42] have a good relationship, and I said, [03:44] "Okay." And the day after I just changed [03:46] her. And I think it's it's crazy because [03:48] it's about we we had COVID situation [03:51] about we were just like closed and we [03:54] have to think about everything what [03:56] happening. But then we we were talking [03:59] we were talk about a Jewish identity. [04:02] And it's crazy because I didn't thought [04:05] that [04:06] 70 years after the war [04:09] it's going to happen. [04:10] >> Yeah, and is this you think very unique [04:12] then to Jewish children that you're [04:14] seeing this kind of extremism focused [04:16] mostly in the Jewish community? [04:18] >> Um [04:19] I think everybody's feeling it and from [04:23] now I think everybody's going out there [04:27] Magen David in Europe. And I think it's [04:30] more rising in France and in United [04:34] Kingdom and we saw many things happening [04:37] also in Netherlands. So I think Europe [04:39] is really in danger in some kind for [04:43] Jewish people and for the kids it's [04:45] complicated because they grow up with [04:47] all the communities and now they're [04:50] asking to go to Jewish school to be [04:52] safe. [04:53] >> So Dr. Ben-David, one word that appears [04:55] throughout the guides is resilience. Now [04:58] we hear that word all the time here in [05:00] Israel. But what does resilience [05:02] actually mean and specifically what does [05:04] it mean when you're speaking to [05:05] children? [05:06] >> Well, resilience does not mean [05:09] that life is easy on you or that you [05:13] have the strength to deal all the time [05:16] with all the challenges that you're [05:17] dealing with and that you're always [05:19] strong and always capable. [05:22] But resilience means that you have the [05:24] flexibility to deal with the challenges [05:27] that life brings to you. [05:29] Resilience means that when you encounter [05:32] a challenge [05:33] you believe that you have the strengths [05:36] and resources to deal with it including [05:39] resources that are outside of you. For [05:41] example, the ability to ask for help to [05:44] say that this is too much for you and [05:46] you need someone to rely on. These are [05:48] also resources that represent [05:50] resilience. [05:51] And the more resources that you have and [05:54] you can rely on, whether they will be [05:56] inner or outer, the more resilient you [05:59] are. And for children, it is more [06:01] important because children are incapable [06:04] of many things. They are incapable of [06:07] dealing with many challenges that they [06:09] are facing, but their ability to [06:11] recognize what is in their own ability [06:14] and in what instances they need other [06:17] people's help and what kind of help, [06:18] this is resilience in children. [06:20] >> How can parents help to build that [06:22] resilience in their children? [06:25] >> It's a very delicate balance between [06:28] providing children with the belief that [06:31] they can manage on their own and that [06:34] they have the resources and their [06:36] abilities and their strengths and [06:39] giving them responsibility and giving [06:41] them [06:42] the the the experiences that they can [06:46] cope on their own. And on the other [06:48] side, being a reliable adult that they [06:51] can rely on, they can turn to and that [06:54] they can provide the answers and comfort [06:57] and sense of stability that they need [06:59] whenever they cannot cope on their own. [07:02] >> And I want to just stick with you for [07:03] just a minute if that's okay because one [07:04] of the thing that I really appreciated [07:06] in the guides was how they were broken [07:08] down by age. At what point do children [07:11] actually begin to understand concepts [07:13] like war, violence and anti-Semitism? [07:17] >> Well, I think there is no age [07:20] that is too soon [07:22] to provide these concepts. Only that we [07:26] have to be very careful in the way that [07:29] we address them. [07:31] Uh because the the younger the child is, [07:35] the less uh complexity he can understand [07:39] in in cognitive manners. [07:42] Um so, uh the younger child is, we need [07:45] to address more terms of right and [07:48] wrong, good and bad, and explain things [07:51] uh in a way that is more dichotomous and [07:54] less complex. And the older they get, we [07:57] can address complexity because these [08:00] terms are very complex. And people are [08:04] not actually either bad or either good. [08:06] And war has many aspects of it. And [08:10] sometimes it has to be, even though we [08:13] don't like it. So the more they grow up, [08:16] the more we want to address uh complex [08:18] terms. [08:20] >> So turning to you, Karen, you know, [08:21] parents like myself and we worry very [08:23] much, you know, what that we're going to [08:24] potentially say the wrong thing to our [08:26] children. And certainly in these kind of [08:28] very difficult situations. So for the [08:31] people who are listening, you know, if [08:32] they haven't had a chance yet to read [08:34] the guides, what are your biggest [08:36] recommendations for talking to children [08:38] ages 3 to 6, ages 7 to 12, and then of [08:41] course teenagers? And you know, I guess [08:43] what's the biggest mistake also that [08:45] parents make? [08:46] >> Mhm. I think the first thing is [08:49] presence. No matter what's the ages, I [08:52] think we have to be there and we have to [08:54] listen to them. I think the first thing [08:56] is to acknowledge the the emotion and to [09:01] help the the kid to talk about it and to [09:04] have the space to talk about it. And I [09:07] think the the worst thing we can do is [09:10] to deny it. [09:11] Even if we are worried about it and if [09:13] we don't want to see it, it's worse [09:16] because the the the kid is keeping in [09:18] its side. And if you keep it inside, you [09:21] don't have the the the space to express [09:24] yourself after. And if they don't say [09:28] if they don't search for anyone else [09:30] because you're you're the parent. So [09:32] they're they're coming to you first. And [09:35] after if they have the chance, they will [09:37] search for someone else, but sometimes [09:40] they just like close their close their [09:42] heart. So, I think the first thing is [09:44] just like to be present, to listen, and [09:47] to acknowledge the emotion no no matter [09:50] the the age. And I think we have to do [09:52] it by far ourselves, and we have to I [09:56] think the guide is good for that because [09:58] when you read it, it's just like a [10:00] something you go through and it there is [10:02] a path, and you learn it for for [10:04] yourself that you can reply it. [10:07] >> And here I'm sticking with you for just [10:09] a minute. You know, you mentioned the [10:10] story about your daughter at the [10:11] beginning and how she didn't really [10:13] speak to you about the things that were [10:15] going on. And what you just said now, [10:17] sometimes they're closing in. So, if a [10:19] child is not verbal, is not expressing [10:22] the challenges that they're going [10:23] through, what are some of the signs that [10:25] will tell you, "Oh, my child is [10:27] struggling and I should take some [10:28] action?" [10:29] >> I uh you have to take care of about [10:32] everything. Details are important. And [10:36] from the morning till the evening, and [10:38] you have to see all the changes in the [10:40] compartments. [10:41] Like if they are they happy at school, [10:44] did they say anything about it? And if [10:47] you ask few questions, just like, "How [10:49] was your day?" Did they respond frankly [10:51] or [10:52] did they have something just like you [10:54] know that there there is a secret [10:56] inside? And try to to always make the [11:00] the communication easier and ask them [11:03] questions just like simple questions. [11:05] And I think this is the first step. [11:08] >> And Dr. Bendavid, do you have anything [11:09] to add to that? [11:11] >> Well, I think I would add I completely [11:14] agree, and I would add honesty as a a [11:18] key factor in our communication with our [11:21] children. [11:22] Uh because sometimes we want to protect [11:24] them. [11:25] Uh and you asked, "What is the right [11:26] time to begin speaking about?" And [11:28] sometimes parents will postpone speaking [11:30] about what is happening because they [11:32] don't want to expose their children to [11:34] things that they rather they wouldn't [11:35] know. [11:36] But the reality is that they know. They [11:39] are exposed to their friends and to the [11:41] media in every age. [11:44] And uh [11:45] if we are trying to overprotect them [11:48] from this information, what will happen [11:50] is that they will be exposed to the [11:52] information from somebody else. And that [11:54] way we cannot control the way the the [11:57] the process is conducted. And if it is [12:00] in our hands, we can mediate the [12:02] information the way we want it. I [12:05] remember one incident, it was maybe two [12:08] or three weeks after the war began. And [12:10] I had a group in the community where I [12:12] live. I I invited parents um to speak [12:15] about how to talk to their children [12:16] about what is happening. It was very raw [12:19] what we were experiencing back then. [12:22] And I talked a lot about being honest uh [12:24] with the children. If they ask [12:25] questions, they want to know the answer. [12:27] They're able They're capable of under- [12:30] standing the answer. Uh you don't have [12:32] to provide no very visible details, but [12:35] be honest. [12:36] And then one of the mothers started [12:37] crying. [12:39] And when I asked what happened, she said [12:41] that, you know, the first 2 weeks we [12:43] didn't have schools. So people could [12:45] protect their children. They wouldn't [12:46] open their TV, so children didn't know. [12:48] But after 2 weeks they went back to [12:49] school. [12:50] And her her son, who was seven, [12:53] came back for the first day and he said, [12:56] "Mom, is it true that there is a child [12:59] kidnapped in Gaza?" [13:01] >> Oh, wow. [13:02] >> There were There were dozens. He He [13:04] heard about the child. And she said, [13:06] "No, that's not possible." [13:09] Because she couldn't bear the fact that [13:11] he will know that something like that [13:13] has happened. And then she started [13:15] crying because she understood that this [13:17] was a lie and soon enough he will know. [13:20] First thing, that there are children [13:22] kidnapped in Gaza. And second, that she [13:24] lied to him. [13:25] And what would that mean about their [13:27] relationships? [13:30] And and she felt so, you know, scared [13:32] and embarrassed about what has happened. [13:35] And and my message to to parents is that [13:38] we make mistakes all the time. [13:41] >> Oh. [13:42] >> The joke in my profession is that we [13:44] make a living from parents' mistakes. [13:45] >> [laughter and clears throat] [13:47] >> I love that. I love that. [13:49] >> But the good thing is that we can repair [13:51] because parenthood is a long-term [13:54] relationships. And in this meeting with [13:56] the parents, we actually rehearsed how [13:58] she is going back to her child. [14:01] And she says to him, "You know the other [14:03] day that you asked me about the child?" [14:05] And I told you no because this is so sad [14:08] that I didn't want you to be so sad. But [14:11] the reality is that there are children [14:13] kidnapped in Gaza and how are we dealing [14:15] with this information? And I think we [14:17] always have the chance to repair. [14:19] >> Incredible. Now, I did notice in the [14:21] guide though that it's not just for [14:22] parents, that it's also for teachers and [14:24] counselors and other professionals who [14:26] may be interacting with children and [14:28] even if they're not seeking it out, some [14:29] kids, you know, might ask questions of [14:31] these other professionals. How does that [14:34] role, this [14:35] external caregiver, differ from the role [14:37] that the parents have in talking about [14:39] these things? [14:41] >> I think we are all together in this [14:43] mission of of supporting our children [14:47] and giving them the best environment to [14:49] to grow up in. And as we say that we we [14:53] need a village to to make a child grow, [14:55] the village includes the parents and the [14:57] teachers and the counselors and the [14:59] guides and the summer camp. And we are [15:02] all partners in in in in giving in and [15:05] supporting our children the best [15:07] environments. So, I think we have to be [15:09] in a very good relationship and [15:11] collaboration to know what kind of [15:14] messages are provided at school and at [15:17] the youth movement and at the summer [15:18] camp and to be in relationship with [15:20] that. It is okay that different messages [15:22] will be provided from different [15:24] professionals and parents. And as [15:26] children grow up, they are able to [15:28] process different kinds of of point of [15:31] views and perspectives. But we have to [15:33] know what kind of perspective are [15:35] provided so we can mediate also the [15:37] differences that are there. [15:39] >> And we spoke about that there are [15:40] actually two guides. And I noticed in [15:42] the second guide, it specifically [15:44] focuses on October 7th, the war and [15:47] anti-semitism only. [15:49] Um and so how different are the [15:51] conversations that you're having, you [15:54] know, talking to your children in the [15:55] diaspora, from what perhaps Dr. Dan [15:57] David can talk about in terms of talking [15:59] to children here in Israel. When you are [16:01] you face the same but also very [16:03] different challenges. [16:05] >> It's I I think it's not exactly the same [16:09] because it's not the same violence. For [16:12] us it's abroad and for you it's just [16:15] like at home. [16:17] Um as as Jewish child, we grow up as [16:21] Jewish a Jewish child in diaspora and we [16:24] didn't have the feeling of any [16:26] anti-semitism. We grow with the Arabs [16:29] and Catholic and every everything was [16:31] easy some somewhere. [16:34] And but I [clears throat] think when now [16:35] we talk about the identity, it's [16:38] complicated to differentiate the [16:40] nationality and the religion. [16:43] And when something happened in the [16:45] Middle East, it it's not only about [16:48] uh the nationality but about the [16:50] religion. But how can a kid can [16:52] understand that? Because I am Jewish but [16:56] how can I be hated for that? Because [16:58] it's my religion and it's my values. So [17:01] I think when we need when we talk to [17:03] kids now in Europe and everywhere else, [17:06] it's complicated because they face [17:07] violence everywhere on social media, at [17:10] school and we need to take care about [17:12] it. And the first thing I I think it's [17:15] important it's to validate it [17:18] and if it's too hard, I think you get [17:20] you have to go to the police station or [17:23] anything because you we we really they [17:25] they need to understand that it's really [17:28] the the baddest thing we can do to some [17:31] someone is to just like to say something [17:35] like, "I can't talk to you because [17:37] you're Jewish." And where is it going? [17:42] Where are we going? And we face it as [17:44] adults, too. So, it's complicated [17:47] because it's our identity, and we want [17:49] to be part of the the the city and the [17:52] country we we are, and we don't get the [17:54] support. So, I think we have to really [17:58] take care about it and [18:00] still talk about it and communicate [18:02] about it because [18:04] if we [18:06] just be if we are just silent, where is [18:09] it going? [18:10] >> And Dr. Ben-David, how's it different in [18:12] Israel? [18:13] >> I think one of the differences uh is [18:16] that being a a Jewish person in the [18:18] diaspora, meaning uh that you have two [18:21] identities. [18:23] You're part of the Jewish community, and [18:24] you are part of your nationality being [18:27] French or British or American. [18:29] Um and I think in situations like that, [18:32] in times like that, with the rise of [18:34] anti-Semitism, there is a conflict of [18:36] identities. Who is your in-group? Who do [18:39] you belong to? Your best friend suddenly [18:42] becomes something strange to you. Who do [18:44] you rely to? And we see more and more [18:46] reliance on the Jewish communities uh [18:48] even for people who are unorthodox, [18:51] never went to the synagogue, their [18:52] children go to national schools, but you [18:54] see uh um um [18:56] um an increase in the in the Jewish [18:59] in-group. Uh Whenever in Israel, uh this [19:02] is your major identity. Uh [19:05] most of the people around you are Jews [19:07] and Israelis. Um so, the threat is [19:09] different. The threat is from the [19:11] outside and not from the inside and and [19:13] the I think it makes a difference [19:15] >> for sure. Now, Israel's often described, [19:17] as we talked about earlier, as a [19:18] resilient nation. Are Israeli children [19:21] coping better because of the resilience [19:23] that's been woven into our society than [19:25] the kids that are maybe facing [19:26] antisemitism in the diaspora and as you [19:28] mentioned, never did before? [19:31] >> I am not sure. [19:32] >> [laughter] [19:33] >> I think um children in Israel, um they [19:37] are experienced. [19:40] Um so, I what I can say is that it is [19:42] not a surprise to them. No, Iran is a [19:45] all is attacking again, somebody [19:47] threatening again, okay? We know how to [19:50] deal with that. [19:51] But, it does not necessarily mean that [19:54] all children are more resilient. Some of [19:56] them are already traumatized and this is [19:59] a secondary and third trauma for them [20:02] and they become less and less capable of [20:04] coping with what is happening. Um so, I [20:07] think it goes both ways, the experience [20:10] that we're gaining. [20:11] But, I can say that for a Jewish child [20:14] in the diaspora, it's a surprise and [20:16] surprise takes you to different [20:18] directions. [20:20] >> So, many parents, Jewish parents living [20:22] in the diaspora, are navigating, as you [20:24] said, something that they never [20:25] expected. I mean, certainly, when you [20:27] and I grew up, we went to school and we [20:28] didn't feel this a generation ago. [20:31] Many Jewish children, I'm assuming, [20:33] never even thought about antisemitism [20:35] until these last few years. So, it's [20:38] part of many families' conversations [20:40] only today. How do you explain the [20:43] reality to children that it went from, [20:45] you know, white to black, really, white [20:47] being good and all of a sudden, this is [20:49] going on? It was like almost overnight. [20:51] >> It was not exactly overnight. [20:53] >> Okay. [20:54] >> Because there [20:56] when you're in the diaspora, when we are [20:58] listening Israel is the bad word and so, [21:02] when we talk about Israel, it's just [21:04] like Jewish people and after Palestinian [21:07] and after from the river to the sea. [21:11] Actually, I think after October 7, there [21:14] is there was a shift because the voice [21:17] increased and there was just like a [21:20] legitimacy to say what you thought. And [21:24] actually, [21:26] it was in our DNA, something raise up [21:29] just like we are talking about our [21:30] country and in the same time is it was [21:34] just like Palestinians [21:37] get supported by many, many people [21:39] without knowing anything about the [21:41] situation. [21:42] And kids around that just like was [21:45] listening few things just like they came [21:47] back home just like Mom, what's what is [21:50] it to from the river to the sea? I don't [21:52] understand. [21:54] What is this sentence? And we didn't [21:57] knew about it and and we don't just [21:59] understand it. [22:01] Do you understand it? I don't understand [22:03] it. I don't know what they are talking [22:04] about. And I think it's raising, [22:07] raising, raising and I think all the [22:09] wars and all the conflict with Israel [22:12] made it it's just like bigger and [22:14] bigger. And it's we think that it's [22:17] black and white, but I think it's [22:19] white and gray and gray and after a [22:24] little black and I think now we are just [22:27] like light black but we don't know where [22:30] we are going. So, I think it's it's [22:33] important in that way that [22:36] this guide is also talking what what is [22:40] doing what our doctors of Islam are [22:43] doing here and how we can help all the [22:45] Jewish people just around the world [22:48] because they they have the knowledge [22:49] some somehow and we don't know where we [22:51] are going and we believe that I think [22:55] all the Jewish people around the world [22:58] know that if they have to go somewhere, [23:00] it will be there. [23:02] So, that's why we support Israel and [23:04] that's why it's in our DNA. So, it's [23:08] really complicated to talk about [23:09] anti-semitisms anti-semitism, sorry, and [23:13] in the same time saying just if I have [23:15] to leave where I'm I'm I'm now, I will [23:18] have to go there. [23:20] So, it's I think it's the paradox of it. [23:23] >> You know, Dr. Benjamin in Israel, our [23:25] kids are exposed to the news all the [23:27] time. Even if you don't turn on the TV, [23:29] it's on YouTube, it's on TikTok. And [23:31] they've seen so many things in diaspora [23:34] as well, but I think even more so here [23:35] where this is constantly our news cycle. [23:38] How do you balance the fact that they're [23:41] seeing these things are the protections [23:42] you should put in place? And if they do [23:44] say something, see something, I'm sorry, [23:46] when is it time to take action and talk [23:48] to them about it? [23:50] >> I think exposure to the social media is [23:52] very age-dependent. [23:55] Uh at at lower ages, we can control [23:58] their exposure. We can not provide a a [24:01] smartphone. Uh we can control the [24:03] different programs that that uh that [24:05] they can be exposed to, and I think we [24:07] should. Because as I said earlier, as as [24:11] younger you are, [24:12] uh the less complexity you can [24:14] understand, and these contents can be [24:17] very very disturbing. Um but as children [24:21] grow up and they turn into, you know, [24:23] being teenagers, uh we can control the [24:26] contents that they uh that they're [24:28] exposed to. [24:29] And then, I think we should be very [24:31] clear about speaking about everything. [24:34] Ask what they see. Ask if they saw [24:36] something disturbing. If we know that [24:39] something is happening, not waiting [24:41] until they ask. Saying, "Did you hear [24:43] that this and this happen? [24:45] What did you hear about it? What do you [24:47] know about it? Do you Do you want to [24:48] know more? [24:50] Did Were you exposed to something [24:51] disturbing today? What bothers you?" Be [24:54] very active. And I completely agree with [24:57] you that being present is the key factor [25:00] because you don't deal with this [25:02] situation. You don't run this [25:04] conversation if you set the time from [25:06] 4:00 to 5:00 p.m. [25:09] This is the time that you speak to your [25:10] children. [25:11] >> [laughter] [25:11] >> You have to be there. You have to walk [25:14] around and see whenever is a good time [25:17] to to ask, "How are you?" [25:19] >> Is there a concern now about rising drug [25:22] use, alcoholism among teens, suicide [25:25] risks? I was reading study showing that [25:27] there was a big linkage but since the [25:28] war to arise in these kind of factors. [25:30] Is are you seeing the same thing here at [25:32] Hadassah and how can we help with that? [25:36] >> We see a rise in mental stress. We see a [25:40] rise in eating disorders. We see a rise [25:43] in substance abuse. [25:45] I have to say that we don't see a rise [25:48] in suicide attempts. And I have to say [25:50] that because it it's a lot on the media [25:54] and every story is a tragic story and it [25:57] it is, you know, on the on the big [25:59] screen. [26:00] But there is no currently no rise in [26:04] suicide attempts. Of course, it doesn't [26:06] mean that there is not an increased [26:09] distress wherever we go and we see that [26:12] a lot. And actually now where the when [26:15] the war is [26:17] on a bit lower level that we than [26:19] before, we see more and more people [26:22] turning to our clinics because they are [26:24] more emotionally available to deal with [26:27] what is happening. [26:28] >> But also as it gets further away, does [26:30] the anxiety, depression, or potential [26:33] post trauma get less and more post [26:36] traumatic growth get more? [26:38] >> Actually, the the interesting thing is [26:40] that these concepts are unrelated. [26:43] >> Mhm. [26:44] >> People can deal with PTSD and with post [26:48] traumatic growth. [26:50] No, parallel in parallel [26:53] because [26:55] having reminders of trauma and being [26:58] alert and being very irritated, these [27:02] are consequences of trauma. But also [27:05] understanding that something meaningful [27:08] may have happened and maybe there is a [27:10] reason for the thing that has happened [27:11] to you and how you grow out of it and do [27:15] something different with your life [27:16] because of the lessons you have learned, [27:18] you can also do that. [27:20] >> Now, turning to you, Karen. You know, I [27:22] did notice that the guide mentions um a [27:24] couple of times this idea that children [27:26] still need to have a sense of control. [27:29] Why is that so important and what are [27:31] some simple ways that parents can help [27:33] children to feel empowered in these [27:34] situations and not helpless? [27:37] >> Yeah. Um when the [27:41] context is always moving and we do we [27:43] don't know what's happening, I think we [27:45] need to anchor few things all all the [27:48] day and just like you have to do your [27:51] the birthdays and you have to do the [27:53] routine and we need to control those [27:56] things, little things that I I can have [27:59] I I can still have control of my life [28:02] because I can't just control everything [28:04] around, so I can control [28:08] brushing my tooth, I can control going [28:10] to school, I can control when I can go [28:12] to school actually. But I think all the [28:14] small things we are doing just help us [28:17] to to stay anchored and grounded. And we [28:20] need to ground ourselves somewhere just [28:23] to be in life. [28:25] >> Now, the last two questions I actually [28:27] want to address to both of you. [28:29] I want to know first from you, Karen. If [28:31] every parent listening would remember [28:33] just one principle from these guides the [28:35] next time that their child asks a [28:37] difficult question, what in your opinion [28:39] would that principle be? [28:42] >> I'm here. [28:44] I will I will always be there. [28:47] And I'm here with you. And if I don't [28:49] know the answer to your question, [28:52] let's search together. And stay present [28:56] always. If someone just like talk to you [29:00] about something, the presence is [29:02] everything. So, be there. [29:04] And I just wanted to add something [29:06] because yesterday I met [29:08] a guy and told me something. [29:11] Actually, Anny [29:14] is um the [29:17] two words Anny Shelly. [29:19] And it's my place. So, we all have a [29:24] place and it's our responsibility [29:27] Anny, [29:28] I'm here. I'm here with you. And I will [29:31] always be there. [29:33] >> And Dr. Wendy, what about you? What [29:35] principle do you want parents to [29:36] remember? [29:38] >> I completely agree and I will again [29:40] emphasize being honest. I believe in [29:44] you, in you my child, that you can deal [29:48] with the reality if I can mediate it to [29:51] you and I can be there for you to deal [29:53] with it. [29:55] >> Thank you. And even though we're dealing [29:57] with such a complicated topic, which [29:58] unfortunately is very heavy, there is [30:01] something really beautiful about the [30:02] guide and that it ends with this message [30:04] of hope. So, when you look at the next [30:06] generation and you know, look at the [30:08] guides and the ways that we could talk, [30:10] what gives you hope? Do you believe that [30:13] we can overcome this? Karen, why don't [30:15] you start and what's with you? [30:17] >> I think we have everything in our hands [30:20] and we need to restart talking. Because [30:25] you know, with AI, we are going to lose [30:28] our voice in many ways and the human [30:31] part is so important. I think with the [30:33] those guides, we just relearn how to [30:36] talk and how to be there and how to be [30:39] there with each other. And to I think [30:42] participate to life, being alive. It's [30:44] important. [30:46] >> And Dr. Ben-David, what's your final [30:48] thoughts? [30:49] >> Well, I think crisis is something that I [30:52] hope we wouldn't have to deal with. But, [30:55] once it is here, it also reveals the [30:58] strength and resources that we have. [31:01] And before October 7th, we were always [31:04] talking about this generation Z. And [31:07] they are always on their, you know, [31:09] social media, and they don't have and [31:11] they don't have meaning. And what will [31:12] happen with them and their [31:14] relationships? It's They're only talking [31:15] to their chat GPT. [31:17] Um, and then the war began. And we saw [31:20] what an incredible generation we have [31:23] here. And they ran to the army, and they [31:25] ran to volunteer everywhere. And they [31:28] are all over holding this society. And I [31:30] think crisis brings also the best in us. [31:34] And we can see what we have. And [31:36] unfortunately, [music] [31:37] we had to find out, but we did find out. [31:41] >> Wow, that is such a beautiful way to [31:43] [music] end this show. I just want to [31:44] make sure that our listeners and viewers [31:46] know that they can get these guides. [31:48] [music] [31:48] I understand they're on the Hadassah [31:49] website. Just Google it and you can [31:51] download the guides to help your own [31:53] children and to help yourself. Dr. [31:55] Sherry Ben-David, [music] Karen Azulay, [31:58] thank you so much for being here today. [32:00] >> Thank you. [32:04] >> Oh. [music] [32:08] Oh. [32:12] Oh. [32:12] >> [music] [32:15] >> Oh. [32:19] Oh. [32:21] >> [music] [32:23] >> Oh.
